Have you ever said something rash without thinking? Do you ever have those days where you have more energy than everyone around you? Has a homework assignment ever taken you twice as long as everyone else? Were you ever told constantly to lower your voice as a kid? If all of your answers were "yes," congrats! You've experienced what I do on an average day.
It's been twelve years since I was first evaluated and diagnosed with combined ADHD. Since I was always being labeled a nuisance and constantly getting into pointless trouble, it finally made sense why I felt so different. The hardest part of coping for me has always been the powerful stigma the acronym is associated with. "Just an excuse for misbehaving" is defiant, degrading, and mildly infuriating. Surrounding yourself with individuals who not only enjoy spending time with you but also encourage and love you becomes essential in order to cope.
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So for those of you who are struggling with your "troublemaker" label or want an inside look, here's a few pros and cons that hopefully help you out! And some lemurs. Who doesn't like lemurs?
PRO - Distinctive Behaviors
Everyone has that one characteristic they're known by. They can vary from "open-minded" to "hard working." Personally, mine's energetic. I'm the girl that runs from the house party to the bar and gets there before the DD. So if you ever need a hiking partner or someone to talk to late at night, I'm your gal.
CON - Mood Swings
I wake up very easily most mornings really happy - I have never understood why other people can't. But there's an endless list of things that can ruin my day: cancelled plans, accusations, complaining, gossiping, grumpy people, miscommunications, reiterations, politics, tardiness... it seriously doesn't stop. The best way to make this insane fury go away is to vent about it. When I'm told to brush it off, my terrible mood escalates even further. I can't help it though. That's just how my brain works.
PRO - Efficient Multi-tasking
Apparently talking with music on while driving, holding hands, and eating with google maps in front of you is a difficult task. Bewildering if you ask me.
CON - Guaranteed Mistakes
I'm better at catching myself now, but I still occasionally drop the f-bomb when I'm surrounded by people at the grocery store. I can also be disrespectful and suffer from CBF. If I make mistakes, I own up to them. When I want to explain myself, please let me. My intentions are (for the most part) pure, so I apologize!
PRO - Rapid Reflectiveness
When I really like something, I tend to super-focus on whatever it is. My parents learned this the hard way. When I was a five, they took me to get my hearing checked because they thought I was partially deaf - I almost never responded to them unless they were standing in front of me waving their hands and yelling my name. Turned out everything was perfect and that I had selective hearing.
So if you expect me to absorb any information, you can't just start talking out of nowhere. I guarantee you I will look up and ask you to repeat whatever you just said and you can't get mad. The easiest way to know you have my attention is when you make eye contact with me.
CON - THE INSATIABLE NEED TO BLURT
Yeah, I hear you when you're having a conversation with someone else - but I need to tell you this RIGHT NOW for some reason.
I'm just going to repeat myself over and over until you at least acknowledge that you've heard me.
C'mon, I'm going to forget like I always do when you don't just let me say what I need to say quickly.
Oh, you're ignoring me so I'll purposely forget.
Don't yell at me, please.
What I need to tell you is vital and... shit, I already forgot.
Is that a squirrel?
PRO - Rebellion Enforced by Impulsivity
I learn best from experiences. What I mean by that is I haven't engraved "think before you do" permanently into my brain. This infamous lack of impulse control is still a very welcomed part of my identity. From a realistic standpoint, I don't understand why I still don't make an effort to practice more self-control, seeing as the never-ending list (yes, another one!) proves that bad things don't stop me from doing more bad thing.
For example -
Seven-years-old: Urinated down a slide because my teacher refused to believe my bladder wasn't the size of a kitten's. Four well-deserved spankings and three years of hateful glares but I still don't feel bad.
Ten-years-old: All the adults repeatedly told me to stop running under bleachers because something bad would happen. Found out what "bad" meant after I hit my head and my face covered in vital fluid scared the crap out of everyone in that gym.
A month ago: During my first afternoon in Durango, Colorado, I saw an amazing picture opportunity and wandered up a random mountain to get it. Went completely alone, wore flip flops, and wasn't familiar with the area - but I hike a lot so that justified the means. After I got my pictures, my foot slipped and long story short, ended up wandering around dehydrated, sunburnt, bruised and late for dinner.
Moral of the stories: I'm just going to keep doing stupid stuff till I break something, probably.
CON - The "Fuzzy Days"
When I can't seem to have a simple conversation with you, please just hug me. I like hugs. They makes my brain feel betters.
Cheers to a little more awareness!
