If there’s one food item that just screams “man”, it has to be bacon. There is not one man in the entire world that doesn’t like bacon (minus vegetarians, and in that case their status is questionable). While bacon may be the most delicious food group, it still has to apply to the universal law of diminishing returns. But when faced with the question of how bacon could lose its value of manliness and deliciousness, I was dumbfounded. Luckily for me, I know an expert bacon-enthusiast.
Tony Mlinarich, brother of Alpha Kappa Lambda, has been a bacon connoisseur ever since the moment he first tasted the delicacy. What makes Tony an expert on bacon? Well he has read 50 Shades of Bacon multiple times, is a bacon cuisine chemist, and is a bacon visionary. No, literally, when he sees pigs he envisions bacon, pork chops, ribs, etc. You name it, Tony knows about it. That’s why when I was troubled with what the downsides of too much bacon were I knew I could trust Tony. He not only gave me the cons of bacon, but also provided me with reasons why it’s so darn good.
As mentioned in “The Man Diet” by our own Ryan Lugar, you can (and should) put bacon on everything. In it’s natural strip form, it goes great on sandwiches and burgers. You can also wrap these strips around your favorite foods like hotdogs, chicken, filet mignon, or even another piece of bacon! But why stop there? Bacon can be broken up into bits and placed on baked potatoes, pancakes, salads, and more. Tony stated, “Once you put bacon in a salad, it’s no longer a salad. It just becomes a game of ‘find the bacon in the lettuce.’” This also makes salad more enjoyable for men, so that’s a plus too.
There are even more ways to enjoy your bacon. For example, you can make it a dessert. Covering chocolate with bacon has been a state fair favorite in recent years, and if you’re new to this concept I recommend it. Bacon expert Tony Mlinarich compared the taste of this treat to caramel covered popcorn: sweet, but salty with a slight crunch at the end.
But all good things come to an end, and this apparently applies to bacon too. Tony said that the downfall isn’t bacon itself, but more of what manufacturers are doing with bacon in their products. For example, companies have come up with various products such as bacon soap, mouthwash, air freshener, and even lip balm. Now I love bacon, but I don’t think that using it as my scent will attract any females. It may attract some hungry, and soon to be disappointed males on the other hand.
The other con of bacon is that restaurants charge too much for it. Fast food restaurants such as Denny’s, Five Guys, and McDonalds require you to pay an extra fee for their already average food for sub par bacon. And I use the term “bacon” loosely here. Other restaurants like iHop and Triple XXX have great bacon, but they also make it too expensive.
In conclusion, bacon is the ultimate man food. It can be added to pretty much any meal, so you might as well do it. In all honesty, I’m getting a craving for some bacon right now just writing this article. Don’t lie: you’re jonesin’ for some too sitting there reading this. I hope you take the advice given to you today and implement it into your daily eating routines. Bacon on, Purdue.
