We’ve all seen the memes.
But what exactly is the “friend zone?” According to the Urban Dictionary (really creditable, I know), it is as follows:
The Friend Zone —This is the worst position someone can be in if they have feelings for someone. When a person develops romantic feelings for someone, but the other person only sees the relationship as just being friends. Because the two are around each other a lot, the one in love will harbor his/her feelings for the others. Only to become completely consumed by this person. This leads to the one in love to complain to all his/her friends about the situation, and to become "[%$#@$] whipped" by the other.
Rejection hurts, I understand; for a lot of individuals their first instinct is to lash out at others when their feelings are hurt. More often than not, however, they aren’t upset because they actually liked the person who rejected them, but because their ego is wounded. It’s a guilt trip, a means to attack the reject-er in the same way the reject-ed feels attacked. The “friend zone” is yet another form of an individual objectifying another individual – this is an example of society’s oldest sin in a new package. It stems from the person who is being "friend zoned" only seeing the "friend zoner" as potential ‘relationship material’ and nothing more. But it needs to stop.
If someone doesn’t want to date you, then they don’t want to date you. That’s all there is to it. No matter how much of your time you give them or how much money you spend on them, they do not owe you anything. Leading someone on is a terrible thing to do, but in the end if the person being pursued decides to draw clear lines establishing you as “only a friend,” then, dare I say it, take The Urban Dictionary’s advice and move on. It really hurts when someone decides that they don't like you back, but responding in anger shows that you didn't like the person for themselves to begin with; you only want what they could offer you as a girlfriend or boyfriend. That's the problem with the "friend zone" -- it's a way for an individual to say they are entitled to another human being's body or attention. And let's be clear -- no one is ever entitled to any part of a person that the said person does not want to give. Ever.
Honestly, you probably don’t actually want or need to be in a relationship with said person anyways. If someone is rejecting your advances, then they do not want to be with you for whatever reason. You deserve someone who is giving back to yourself just as much as you are giving to them. Do not settle for less! It may sound cliché, but there is someone who will appreciate everything that you do for them, someone who will be excited to see you every single time. The kind of excitement that comes with a romantic relationship though -- not a friendship.
So don’t complain when you're “friend zoned” – take it as a blessing that you are dodging a relationship that is doomed to fail. When two people are giving unequally, someone is going to get hurt. Use the opportunity to grow and maybe even develop a friendship that is stronger than any relationship the two of you could have had.
Either way, don’t try to make the person feel bad about their lack of romantic interest in you, because in the end, all you are really doing is hurting yourself. So don’t.