'Privilege' is a word that is thrown around quite a bit in this day and age, and a word I hear especially often while attending a progressive liberal arts college in a relatively well-to-do city that still faces its fair share of iniquities. In a way, being a student at Lewis & Clark College is a privilege in and of itself, in that it allows me, or at times forces me, to think about my own privilege.
Taking a step back, one may ask, what is the deal with this whole privilege dialogue anyway? What are people actually talking about? What are they trying to prove or accomplish in discussing the ways in which some individuals are naturally more advantaged or disadvantaged than others? In my optimistic view, the answer to these questions are that deep down, this dialogue is aimed at bringing about more equality, understanding, and fostering of empathy. However, others have different opinions. Some people bring up privilege because they themselves feel personally disadvantaged in some way and want to make the issue known.
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They are fighting for their own rights and for acknowledgement of their personal struggles, and in my mind, this is perfectly just and valid. However, the issue with 'privilege' is that the word itself holds too much weight, and instead of using this power for good, many people are using it to place blame and to make people feel shame for the ways in which they are advantaged, while simultaneously saying that the more privileged individual must actively right the wrongs that their advantaged “group” may have directly or indirectly afflicted on the disadvantaged “group.”
The problem with 'privilege' lies in the superfluous meanings we give to the word, because while there are only several agreed-upon dictionary definitions, the connotations and feelings associated with the word could not vary more.
Most dictionary definitions describe privilege as something that some individuals inherently have and others do not, with “a right, immunity, or benefit enjoyed only by a person beyond the advantages of most” being a pretty standard definition. However, Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, to this day, includes, “the advantage that wealthy and powerful people have over other people in a society” as one of its three definitions of privilege. Wealth, power, and other perks that usually go along with it are often associated with privilege. However, privilege holds a much broader scope than just material wealth.
The term “white privilege” is commonly heard nowadays, especially in recent years with all the instances of police brutality against primarily black individuals. The term has come to mean that being born white gives individuals inherent rights, and essentially makes it so they do not have to think about their privilege. White individuals, for example, do not have to worry that they are being pulled over by a cop because of the color of their skin, about being called awful names, or have women clutch their purses tighter as they walk by them on the streets. Yes, being white is a privilege in that one does not have to worry about many things. Take it from me, I know.
Growing up as a white, cisgender, straight women in an affluent southern California city made my life pretty easy. I had a stable home life, loving parents, and a few close friends. I was able to get a job while in high school that I could drive to in my own car. I could walk around with my friends in the evening without a care in the world. I went on family vacations at least once a year. I never questioned if I would have a roof over my head or food on my dinner plate. I never had to worry, and so I rarely thought about those things. I always knew I was lucky and was appreciative, but as I have grown older, I have realized the complexities of privilege for both myself and others I know.
As I grew into a woman (you know that time of life I’m talking about), I started to experience something I had not experienced or thought about before − cat-calling. Many women experience this to different degrees. It is something that utterly disgusts me and really makes me question some aspects of our society. I have, in the not-too-distant past, had three grown men start to get too verbally aggressive with me and a friend as we were simply waiting at a stop light to cross the street while walking around one weeknight in downtown Portland. We felt so threatened that my friend and I booked it across and down the street, weaving through oncoming traffic just to get away from the potentially-hazardous situation that seemed to be escalating quickly.
But then, I think about how women have it much worse in other areas of the world: not being able to attend school as adolescent girls because they may not have the proper sanitary products for that certain time of the month, not being able to leave their own homes unless escorted by a male family member, being violated and mutilated in so many unthinkable ways. So, am I privileged in that all I had to deal with were some men that made me so scared for my own safety that my logical brain told me it was safer to chance being hit by a car in order to evade the situation than to stay waiting for the light to change at that crosswalk?
Yes, and no.
I should not have to be afraid waiting at a crosswalk, nor should women miss school, be considered second-class citizens, or face violence, but unfortunately it happens. I am privileged in that scenarios like these are all I have to deal with, but unlucky it had to happen at all.
I am still very privileged, coming from the wealthy community I came from, having those aforementioned loving parents and close friends. But when I look at some of my friends from back home, some similarly white, well-off young adults that lived in very close proximity to me and worked or participated in other extracurricular activities with me, I would not call some of them privileged. I would deem some of them as particularly disadvantaged in certain ways. Some of them were dealing with major health or mental issues, family problems, sexuality, or even not being able to go to college because they could not afford it even though they seemed so well-off.
These people in such seemingly similar circumstances to me were all leading vastly different lives and experiencing the world, and coming to define their unique place in it, in completely different ways. They were privileged. They were disadvantaged. They were human.
All of us have our privileges, our disadvantages, ways we are naturally uplifted by society and ways we are oppressed and made to feel small by that exact same society. We all have had our ups and downs. Some obstacles in our lives may have been temporary, while others are permanent blockades that we have to fight against and make peace with each and every day. Realizing the ways we have it good as well as the issues we have to think about on a daily basis helps us to better understand ourselves and our current place in the world.
Once you know your story and are comfortable enough to tell it, that is when you can start really listening to and empathizing with others, which again, is what I think this whole conversation about privilege is really about. Having a constant-growth mindset, instead of solely thinking about blame or the wrongs that have been afflicted upon one’s self, one can truly start to have an actual conversation about privilege.
Remember that there is a time and a place for it, and that you have to gauge who is ready to talk. Once you do get a conversation going, much can be accomplished. Out of the conversations that I have had about privilege this summer in a mentoring class, I have come to better understand who I am, what issues really matter to me, and that everyone is truly unique, but also similar on so many levels.
Believing that humans are inherently good, I think that people not only want to do good themselves, but also want to see good things happen for other people. I think that by having these talks about privilege, we can learn what really get us fired up, what we are passionate about, and how we can relate to others to really campaign for change. The mission now is just to figure out what those few issues are for you. It is good to be “for” many different platforms, but when the going gets tough, for what issues would you remain unwavering? Which one or two areas of your life would be most devastated if your privilege in that area was taken away? These are the questions that should really be going through one’s mind when talking about privilege.
The problem with privilege is how often people throw the word at others without knowing their story, how people have different connotations of the word, and how conversations can be blame or shame-based instead of based on growth, empathy, and compassion. Conversations about privilege are only beneficial if all parties are ready to share their views and stories, willing to engage with others, realize that privilege has different meanings to different people and in different contexts, and probably most importantly, that everyone goes into the conversation with a growth mindset.
After a conversation fitting all those criteria happens, be happy it did. Learn. Grow. Think. Act. Repeat, again and again (and use your privilege to do so).
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