More than a handful of times in the past few years, I’ve heard numerous women express hope that their future children are sons, not daughters. I’ve heard women who are mothers express their relief at having sons rather than daughters. On these occasions, this sentiment was not, as I first thought, due to fear for their potential daughters’ futures, but rather from the idea that “girls are dramatic.”
“I’m so glad I had a boy!” One such woman exclaimed. “Girls go through so much cattiness in school and backstabbing…and all the dance recitals and then dating when they’re teenagers…it’s all so typical and dramatic.”
I had to choke back my shock and disappointment. I was an English major, so when I hear the word “drama,” the first thing that comes to mind is a certain playwright called William Shakespeare (who was a man, by the way), not little girls in leotards learning to point their toes. I’m confused by the idea that having a daughter automatically means dance recitals will be a thing. Some of us adore ballet, but others are much more interesting in throwing around a softball – and both hobbies are valid. But more than that, I’m disturbed at the culture surrounding girls and women in our society.
Friendly reminder: This past week, a rapist remained unscathed except for a slap on the wrist compared to what he put his victim through (though I hesitate to use the word victim, because that woman is undoubtedly a pillar of strength to endure what she has). One of the leading Presidential candidates is also one of this country’s most outspoken misogynists. Hello, it is 2016 and the gender pay gay still exists.
For these reasons, and many more, don’t insult the next generation of girls by dismissing them as dramatic.
Be afraid to have a daughter because chances are, she will grow up recognizing that her body appears to not belong to herself. She will endure regular bouts of catcalling – in broad daylight, in nice areas, grocery shopping on a Tuesday, no matter what she’s wearing. One in six American women will experience attempted or completed rape.
Be afraid to have a daughter because God forbid someone does lay a hand on her without permission, it will probably not be worth her time, energy, finances, humiliation and emotional pain to report it because so few rapists are punished for their crimes.
Be afraid to have a daughter because 40-60 percent of elementary school girls suffer from poor body image and are concerned about their weight. She will learn from a young age how important her perceived attractiveness is in our society.
Be afraid to have a daughter because although you will tell her that she can do anything she puts her mind to, a woman has yet to run for President without massive amounts of derision and condescension that she is capable for the job, even when she is more than qualified.
Be afraid to have a daughter because girls are socialized to view each other as competitors rather than allies, so they learn to relate to each other in terms of secrets and pettiness and jealousy.
Be afraid to have a daughter because no matter what she decides to do with her life, whether it is become CEO of a Fortune 500 company or a stay at home mother, people will criticize her for the ways in which she is not contributing to her career/family/community. Whichever path she chooses, she will be accused of either not properly nurturing her family or holding back the feminist movement.
There are so many reasons to feel trepidation about the daunting thought of raising a girl in this cold, indifferent world. “Typical female drama” isn’t one of them.
