Now, I know what you are thinking, “Oh gosh, this girl doesn’t shower, and she just discovered how awesome they are. Wow! She must stink!” Hah, okay, no. If you have read any of my articles, watched any of my YouTube videos, or just talked to me in general ever before it won’t take you long to know that I have my own language. People close to me refer to these strange things I do and say as “Hannah-isms”. However, I assure you that this article is not necessarily about the importance of good hygiene (I would hope you would already have that knowledge), but more so about the importance of appearance. Yes, you read that right. Let me assure you that I am not an artificial person who judges based off of what I initially see of you. This isn’t about what other people think when they look at you; it is about what you think of yourself when you look in the mirror. This is an article all about self-worth.

So here it is: what do you see when you look into the mirror? I can tell you what I used to see. I used to see someone who was ugly, inside and out. I used to be ashamed of my past and every single little mistake I had ever made. Flashbacks and memories used to follow me like a shadow. Words that others threw at me that simply cut my soul used to whisper in my ear at night. It felt like time would never slow down. Where would I find the time to fix things? Every tick of the clock sounded about as loud as a footstep in heels going down a silent hallway that extended forever, with no carpet in sight. It seemed like there was no end in sight either. This was ironic because all I wanted, more than anything, was for there to be an end. When will this chapter of my story be over? I thought that I would never find the strength to forgive. I thought that not reaching my goals was the end of the world. I thought that anyone remotely close to me was crazy. I thought I was worthless.

All of these feelings had been building up inside of me for about a year and a half. That is a very long time. I look at everything around me that has changed. I am certainly not the same person I was a year ago. I am not the same person I was a day ago. Each day I want to strive to be a better version of myself. With that being said, a year and a half might be long, but some people hold things in for years, decades in fact! In that sense, I am fortunate to have not had to go through that. Things even got to the point where I found myself across from my counselor, who was informing me that I was in the extreme or “red” zone for all the categories they questioned us about. Categories including anxiety, depression, anger, violence, lack of concentration, uncontrollable around food, etc. I don’t want to give you the impression that I am still down visiting doom and gloomville, but at the same time, I do not want to give you the impression that I am 1,000% better either. The only thing that is different is I had a realization.

I realized that I can forgive myself. I realized that the people in my life are there because they want to be, and they love me. I realized that I am able to do something for myself. I realized that I am much happier when I know I am on the right track. I realized that I am pretty awesome, and I have a lot to offer this world.

Now, you are probably wondering what all of this has to do with a shower, of all things, aren’t you? Let me explain. Hygienically, of course, I am a very clean person, despite that not always being represented well in my room, but of course, I already talked about that in my previous article about hoarding. With that being said, I became very stagnant. My friend, Amanda, and I have the same problem that I honestly think a lot of people struggle with. When we are stressed, we begin to think that we have things that are more important than taking care of ourselves that require our time. This is reflected in our mood, our eating habits, our clothes, and honestly, our overall attitude about life. Day to day things seem to lose color and become drier. It becomes easier to just say, “Well, I am not trying to impress anybody, so it’s okay for me to not dress up”, “Oh well, I am only going to class, so I don’t need any makeup”, “Why would I do my hair when it takes up so much time and all I am going to do all day is homework anyways?”, “Oh well it’s okay, I can just wash my hair later”.

Guess what. Later becomes tonight, tonight becomes tomorrow, tomorrow becomes Friday, and Friday never comes. Don’t get me wrong, I am probably the biggest supporter of throwing on a pair of yoga pants, a sports bra, some tennis shoes, an oversized t-shirt, my hair in a bun, no makeup, and walk out the door. I literally just described my “OOTD” (Outfit of the Day) for WEEKS! Yes, weeks. I might change my shirt, or I might take a shower and put back on the same clothes. “Oh, well, in college, you don’t see the same people every day, so it’s fine.” Though this may be true that you will not see everybody every day, you still are going out into public. Lol… Again, I just want to reiterate that I am not saying that dressing down is just the most terrible thing and you should never do it. All I am saying is that you shouldn’t always do it.

I cannot tell you how good it has felt this week, especially the past two nights, not only get up and shower, but turn that shower into a show, jam out, put on a real bra, throw on a little foundation, rip my hair out of that bun, and THEN walk out the door. I have to tell you it created a ripple effect. Automatically my confidence level sky rocketed by just an extra ten minutes and a few simple self-care actions. Doing that inspired me to keep it up throughout the entire day. I was actually checking things off of my “To Do List”. I was actually getting ahead in my classes. I was actually getting time to really savor the moment with friends and family. I was actually changing things in my life for the better. I was actually getting excited about my future. I was actually working through some personal issues. I was actually feeling accomplished. I was actually proud of myself. For the first time in a long time, I was actually smiling because I couldn’t hide my happiness and not because I wanted to mask my hurt.

I am not saying that fancying yourself up every day is the answer to all of your prayers, but what I am saying is starting your day off being productive will typically leak over into the rest of your day as well. I am also saying that if you cannot even properly take care of yourself, like you deserve, then how can you take care of anything or anybody else? A shower alone did not solve my problems. Well, like I said, I was already doing that. None of this happened over night. It has been a long, drawn out healing process. I am not through with my journey, and I never will be for as long as I walk this Earth. Guess what? There is a reason why my chapter didn’t end. There is only an end when the book closes, and baby, I am writing a novel out of my life. I want that novel to be one on the best seller shelf. One that people are fighting to read. One that people gaze upon and walk away from feeling encouraged, inspired, and motivated.

Today, when I looked in the mirror, I saw someone completely different. I saw someone who understands what it means to struggle and was getting her life together. I saw a fighter. I saw someone filled with courage. I saw someone who was a loyal friend. I saw a good daughter. I saw someone worthy of love. I saw someone beautiful. I saw someone who tried, every day, to radiate Christ. I saw someone with valuable time. I saw someone who would never give up. I saw her future, and it was filled with success. I saw someone who was fiercely positive and, unapologetically, herself. I saw someone amazing. I saw someone who is worth it.

I hope you take this message to heart. I hope after reading this article, you take me as an example to get fired up about wanting to change your life. I hope you know that even if you can’t see it now that doesn’t mean you won’t. Sure, the title of this may be a tad misleading at first, but hey, there is a powerful message behind it. Besides, it rhymes, and that’s always fun. What will you do? Will you stay in the slumps, or will you rise with the equipment you need to tackle that mountain in front of you? It all starts with you. So, today, I challenge you to get up, get out, and get moving. Do something for you! Even something as small as putting on a real bra. Don’t give up on yourself because, as long as you are here on Earth, your story is not finished, and your book is not published. #ShowerPower