Today, I am thankful for the power of pretending. I am thankful for the power to confidently flaunt that happy mask we know all too well. I went through high school reading Tumblr posts and sad tweets about how having that mask is disheartening, crippling, blah blah blah… But if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that the art of pretending can help more than you’ll ever know. It’s the catalyst that motivates me every single day to convince myself to be as happy as I lead on. We become what we think about. Being trapped in a sorry state of self-loathing leads to nothing but even more self-loathing. If we wake up depressed and do anything but fight its power to consume us, we become the depression.
Depression is an illness, an everyday struggle, and a pretty big pain in the ass if you ask me. What it’s not is an identity; it doesn’t have to dictate every move and decision we make in this life. So if I wake up painfully depressed every day, but decide to put on an act for the sake of those around me, after a while, the act isn’t so much of an act anymore. The “mask” becomes me, the smile is second nature. I’m not saying that "fake it till ya make" it is a cure-all for depression because it’s not and never will be. It is, however, a motto that motivates me every single day to bring even just an ounce of positivity into my life. I’ve found over the last few years that using acting as a coping mechanism isn’t as much of a crime as everyone makes it out to be. It’s not being two faced, it’s not lying, it’s not pretending to be something that I’m not… Because the part of me that isn’t depression is complete and total happiness. It’s in there, I know it. Depression is just as much a part of me as anything else, but it isn’t and never will be ME. I am so much more than the things I struggle with, and if pretending not to struggle with those things on a daily basis is the one thing that keeps me going, then so be it. My mask is most certainly still a mask. I’ve got a hell of a long way to go, but it helps. It’s both relieving and empowering to choose every single day what I’m going to let define me, and depression will never be one of those things.
It’s so important to keep smiling & keep on keepin’ on in this life. Your mask could become someone else’s. That smile you’re wearing, whether it’s real or not, is so contagious, and so ridiculously beautiful. So that mask you’re so ashamed of wearing? Leave it on. Embrace it. Flaunt it. Become it. You got out of bed this morning, told depression “not today,” and mustered a smile… And that is something worth celebrating.
“Thoughts have energy. Make sure yours are positive and powerful.”
