My favorite friendships, and therefore my favorite moments in life, always involve unending laughter. The kind where you can’t breathe anymore, you feel the abs coming in, and you start sounding like a dying whale. That kind of ridiculous laughter. I am lucky enough to laugh like this often, thanks to many awesome, hilarious friends, and the sheer number of inside jokes we share.

Inside jokes are probably my favorite form of humor, after sarcasm of course, because all you need to make one is a funny memory with a good friend. It’s simple, hilarious, and doesn’t require actually being funny, which is my specialty. It’s a reference to that show you watched together, that middle school crush you both regret, that one time at band camp, or eye contact and raised eyebrows as that one guy from class walks by in the dining hall.

It’s the funny voice that can be called up with a one-word reminder, a song that you all know describes your friendship, a hilarious line from a late night pancake run, a “remember that one time,” or a phrase that can send a group of ‘mature’ college students into an hour long giggle fit.

I could go on and on just listing them, so basically, inside jokes are the best, because they last as long as the memory does. It’s not like I consider the importance of inside jokes often, because they just happen in the moment with no time to have weird deep thoughts about them. But in thinking about what to write this week, and missing my friends, high school and college alike, inside jokes came to mind as being a big part of my life.

I have realized that I tend to define friendships, especially new ones, by the number of inside jokes we share. Once I share an inside joke with someone, a real friendship is born. And from there, they can just stack up until we have our own language. That’s where I’m at with my best friends, at least.

Especially entering college, I needed to find some good friends quickly. And guess what? I found them in my hallmates when an inside joke about some guy and a kid’s movie (they understand) was formed within the first week of school. And almost a year later, they are still some of my greatest friends.

Inside jokes mean good memories were made. They mean a sense of humor is shared and there’s a certain level of friendship compatibility. Inside jokes are exclusive to those that share the experience, but inclusive in that they create connections and friendships in so many ways, with anyone willing to laugh.

To everyone out there who rolls on the floor laughing about inside jokes with their best of friends, I know you get it. So keep laughing about those little things, those awkward memories turned funny over time. Laugh until you can’t breathe and you can’t remember why you’re laughing, because that’s when more inside jokes can be created.