Is it possible for someone to believe in me more than I can believe in myself? That maybe you never have to worry about not being enough because to them, you hold the stars in your eyes. They make it seem silly to doubt ourselves because they never did.
Dad can do that. From an early age, I always thought that Dad was unstoppable. There was no trail he could not explore, no puzzle that could not be solved, no jar he could not open. Dad was tall and strong; he protected the world he loved and kept it safe from harm.
But he was more than just a superhero. He told bad jokes in a desperate effort to be funny. Maybe he was great at making a certain food, like buttermilk pancakes or steak kabobs. Dad would try to scare off homecoming and prom dates, but I would just roll my eyes because I knew that he wouldn’t hurt a fly.
It still does not make sense how Dad could be everything all at once. How he could stand fearlessly when the days seemed darkest. How he made his life happen, and never wavered when the going got tough. The way he would assure me that everything would be great in the end, even when there was no good news to be told.
As we got older, we would think, how was Dad so sure that everything would be OK?
He wasn’t.
Maybe that whole time he was a little scared. At some point, I realized that Dad was just a person, and he was just as unsure of the world as I am. But somewhere along the way, he decided that it had to be OK, so he was going to make it OK.
Maybe that's why Dad believes in me so much. Because he believed in himself when he had no reason to. If he could do it, then, of course, I could.
Dad is everything to me, and I have learned many great lessons from him. But perhaps the greatest is to decide what needs to happen, and make it happen. And wholeheartedly trust in my capabilities to achieve those goals in times when reality seems absurd. To be the best person I can be not just for myself, but for all.
Dad showed me not what it means to be fearless, but what it means to recognize my fears and face them anyway.
Thanks, Old Man, you’ve been a real pal. You believed in me when I couldn’t, and I cannot thank you enough for that.
