At work, I deal with a lot of people. All kinds of folks from all over the area, city, country, and even the world.
"WOW, Lauren, you must work at a super cool business." Well, no. I work at a grocery store. A very popular grocery store right near a very popular university.
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Being that I see a lot of people all throughout my day, I try to look presentable, but some days those morning shifts really get to you. When I have an 8 a.m. shift, there's not a smudge of makeup on my face, and my hair is doing whatever it wants.
This particular morning shift, I wasn't feeling too good about myself- physically or mentally.
It was something that an older couple said in passing that I could hear. They were poking fun at my hair, which for those of you who don't know me, is blue.
"Get a load of that!" The wife said.
"What? I like it! Maybe I should do that to my hair." The husband responded.
As their cackles faded away, I couldn't help but feel bad. Who wouldn't? I love my hair, and I think it's a fun way to express creativity, but the moment I hear one person doesn't like it, or thinks it looks stupid, I become filled with regret.
Why did I dye it a weird color?
I can't pull this off.
What if people think I'm weird because of it?
I look stupid.
As I was trying to push those thoughts out of my head, a young, college-aged girl, came up to me. She was wearing what I can only describe as "the most fashionable outfit I've ever seen someone in before noon".
"OH MY GOD! I just LOVE your hair! Did you do it yourself?"
Shocked, I replied, "Uh... yes."
"Wow! It looks so cute!"
"Oh.. well, thank you."
After the initial blush wore off, I felt different.
I felt better.
I love this color.
I don't look stupid.
I'm glad I dyed it.
All because of what? Some girl thought it was cool?
Well... yeah.
We, as humans, have the ability to change how those around us see themselves. It's a mighty power that some use for good while others use for evil. We can change someone's entire outlook on themselves just by some off-hand comment that we didn't even think about. We can change how someone feels or acts just by saying something that we, ourselves, didn't think was that significant or important.
We have all been affected by a comment like this.
Whether it was that one time in the fourth grade when someone told you your teeth looked weird when you laughed and now when you enjoy a joke, you keep your lips firmly together, or when you were in college and a crush told you that you could get annoying when you're excited and now you don't express your happiness or joy of something, or maybe when you were interning at a new place and the boss said that your voice was too shrill so you don't talk as much.
Those people didn't know what they were doing when they told you those things. They were meant to be said in passing, meant not to be taken too seriously.
But they were.
Because they made you think about things that you had always done, and they made you believe that it was annoying, or ugly, or too much, and now you look back on every moment you've done that and think to yourself "Wow... I should stop that, in case anyone else gets annoyed by it."
That's how people use their power for evil.
It's pointless, and it does nothing but hurt the person who was targeted by the comment.
Using the power for good, however, is a whole different story.
All you have to do is compliment someone. Not even in a major way.
"Hey, I like that _____! Where'd you get it?"
"Hey, man, your _____ is really cool!"
"Oh my god, where did you get those _____, they look amazing!"
It's that simple because we're really that powerful.
Those lines, with the blanks filled in, are all it takes to make someone's day a little bit better.
Amazing, right? Want to hear something even better? It feels good on both ends. Seeing a person light up because of something you said is, to me, one of the best feelings in the world.
That's why it's SO important to compliment others out loudbecause I know we all compliment people in our heads, but why not let them know?
Maybe the person, like me, was feeling really self-conscious and was feeling hurt and sad. Your compliment could be the turning point of how they view themselves. You can change their world, their view, their outlook on the day, on life, on people... by just... complimenting them.
That's why I want to thank those people.
So, thank you, random girl.
I appreciate you so so much. You have no idea how much you helped me.
