I was hurting.
Everywhere I looked, there was hurt. The heart-shattering, disoriented, awful hurt.
Behind every door and around every corner.
It wasn’t just in me. It seemed as if it was in everyone around me- in everything around me.
In a weird way it was comforting that others were hurting in the way I was.
But soon enough even that comfort hurt.
Why were we hurting?
Why was there hurt?
And then it began.
All the other emotions began to disappear.
All the other people started to drift away.
You know what happens when you are consumed by hurt?
You don’t hurt anymore.
You don’t feel like you hurt anymore.
You. Don’t. Feel. Anymore.
At least when you are not comforted by hurt, you feel something- anything.
But once you’ve looked too far- when you’ve been behind every door and around every corner.
It doesn’t hurt.
Why?
Because you find comfort in that hurt and it truly never goes away.
You never forget that feeling.
You never forget what it feels like to hurt.
But, listen, as long as you can remember that hurt, as long as you can never forget what the hurt feels like, you can heal.
You will heal.
That hurt will act like a leech when it realizes that you fighting to feel.
It will try to drain you dry.
But you are strong. You are brave. You are in control.
Everyone hurts, but not everyone suffers.
It is your choice to fight for your feelings.
It is your choice to look around and see everyone around you hurting and do absolutely nothing.
Or you can look around and say enough is enough.
You can say that I am not longer a victim of hurt. I will not fall for your tricks anymore.
You can cut yourself loose and heal.
You must heal.
You must not find comfort in that hurt.
I was hurting, but I did not shut down.
I woke up.