When the monster of imperfection begins to flood your heart, it seems as though your body wants to collapse. A mental block of wondering sets in as physical pain. Your palms begin to sweat as you tell yourself your life doesn't or never will make a difference. You get headaches trying to figure out what went wrong. Trying to answer the question " Am I Enough?" - (for this family, my friends, this world, etc.) You can't think and it hurts...
Society tries to shove life in a box that overcomes fast pace increments.
Books of 200+ pages where the protagonist comes to age fighting and winning in life or love. Movies spend less than 2 hours pouring into a life of beginning, middle and end.
However, life doesn't work that way.
Yes, books and movies hold on to solid values of character strength, conditional themes, and ironic plot lines, but for an avidly analytical person like myself, a book reader and a movie watcher, I seem to get lost in my own story.
Lost in the fake facade that my life should move like a movie. That is should hold the same meaning as a classic novel. I forget to remind myself that life has a pause button. I forget to remind myself that hitting pause doesn't lessen the story.
People drift off into ideologies that they are less of a person because they don't have their life figured out at every turn.
Answers are not everything. Questioning is the peace that life gives us.
Doubt only presents a time for regrouping confident adjustment. It's important to be reminded that wonder makes you human. Even if the wondering lasts for hours or decades because there is no rule against humans reveling in questioning. Do not let society form you into thinking that the here and now solicits answers. Rushing grants mistakes. Perfection is realizing the power of imperfections. Using times of imperfection to develop new outlooks or ideas.
So as I write, I continue to remind myself that reveling in this moment is not surrendering to doubt. For at the beginning, I honestly had no idea what to write about, but now have come to terms with the fact that silent hesitance is time for growth both in reasoning for writer's block and in the topic of an article.
Whether it be a little case of writer's block, having no idea what your career move should be, or not knowing where your relationship stands with a significant other, pausing the button on life is never a weakness. Sit down, breathe, and come to terms with want you want. Revel in the moment and the pause. Sometimes life grants ellipsis and that is okay.
