I am one of three girls in my family. Between my sisters and I, there was always constant battle for attention, especially when it came to sports. Each child has their own special characteristic when it comes to birth order.
First born children, like my older sister Patti, are more organized and conscientious. They have set the state for their younger siblings. They are quick to learn the specs of their parents. On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have babies such as my younger sister, Gabbi. They are often more carefree than their two older siblings because they have the least amount of responsibilities in comparison. They can also be a little manipulative, as I speak from the amount of times I was bribed into making Chick-Fil-A runs after practice.
Middle children, like myself, tend to have a bad reputation. We tend to be harder to categorize because we don't quite fit in. Middle children are the people-pleasers, the more social and outgoing ones between the siblings. On the more negative end, we are somewhat rebellious. Us middle children tend to possess what is called the "middle child syndrome."
"Middle child syndrome" is the plight of all of us who were lucky enough to be born sandwiched between two siblings. Dr. Alfred Adler, a developmental psychologist, pioneered the idea that birth order affects the general characteristics of children. Middle children often feel neglected, a contrast from their siblings. Because of this, most middle children are more susceptible to symptoms of depression.
Despite this generalization about us middle kids, there’s a lot of great things about being born in the middle.
Patti and I were born 11 years apart while Gabbi and I are only three and a half years apart. The large age gap between my older sister and I meant that she was able to coax my parents with her charm before I came along. My parents, as a result, were less strict with me and my younger sister. Aside from that, less responsibility fell into my hands when I was growing up. It was honestly a blast being the “baby” of the family for a little bit. That was cut short when Gabbi came along. I wasn’t as spoiled as she was, even now 15 years later, but I was given much of what I asked for (if asked for nicely).
To this day, I still don’t hold the same amount of responsibility as Patti did and my parents are definitely not waiting second by second to grant every little wish of mine. The most important thing that I have learned from my birth order is independence.
At the age of 16, I took it upon myself to get a part-time job. It wasn’t all that glamorous, but it helped me learn the kind of responsibility that I would have never learned because of the “middle child syndrome.” That same year, my older sister got married and had her very own daughter. Having another baby to take care of in the family made me feel like the oldest sibling, learning all the baby duties that never fell on me when Gabbi was born. A year later, she and her family moved to Ireland and I became the “eldest.”
Since Patti moved out, a lot more responsibility fell on me. You’d think that I wouldn’t enjoy all of this, but I actually did. Though she would never admit it, my younger sister respected me just a little more than she used to. I became someone she talks to about her personal life, something that she wasn’t confident enough to do until it was just the two of us in the house. To me, middle child syndrome never felt like a legitimate thing. It was all just a learning experience.
Being the middle child ended up being the greatest thing to ever happen to me growing up. It taught me a different sense of responsibility and independence, a sense that only us middle children have.
