Impulsive

Brash

Reckless

Boisterous

A cacophony of noise emitting through the walls of the red brick home sitting in a commercial suburban neighborhood.

My siblings and I, in our apparent dissonance, maneuver between and around each other as the day wanes on.

Some of us to work.

Some of us to rehearsal.

Some of us to youth group.

Some of us off to practice.

I take look around from my seat at the kitchen counter. The boys have grown, shooting up taller and taller with each passing day. They elbow each other in a playful manner as they pull ingredients out of the pantry; swiftly putting together a simple and quick lunch to inhale before their next task of the day.

I turn toward the window. My little sister, the youngest of us all, is outside on her own. The wooden porch is her stage. She basks in the sunlight, twisting into clumsy pirouettes.

“I want to be a dancer when I grow up!” she declared to me the week before, her bright, 6-year-old eyes shining with bright dreams of her future. She smiles at me, and I notice new teeth growing in between scattered, small, baby ones.

Wasn’t it just yesterday when she was little and teething for the very first time?

I switch my gaze back over to my brothers.

The eldest of my younger brothers is in need of a shave. He is no longer that little boy with sunshine in his smile and wonder in his eyes. The middle child is nearly taller then all of us. His low laughter rumbles throughout the kitchen. Gone are the high-pitched giggles, the childish hair-cut and the toothy grin. The youngest of the boys has almost surpassed me in height. The self-assured ease of a boy on the brink of teenage years has somewhat overtaken that child-like wonder.

This isn’t right.

My mind cannot comprehend just how much they have grown.

In my eyes, they remain as I left them when I went off to college nearly two years ago.

Forever 16

13

10

And 4

As we go about our daily routines, as we each move about the house, I see the ghosts of our former selves in the midst of us.

Creating a make believe game outside.

Playing hide and seek all around the house.

Comforting each other during terrifying Midwest summer storms.

Laughing and enjoying each other’s presence with silly and nonsensical jokes.

I could sit in this wave of nostalgia, reminiscing and wishing for what was in the past, however if college has taught me anything, it’s that we are always constantly growing and reforming. It sucks that I have to be absent for large portions of my siblings' lives. It’s disappointing that I won’t be present for the pre-audition jitters, the numerous concerts and recitals, the triumphs of passing grades and on occasion, birthday celebrations. But I must not let the moments that are restricted from me hinder my presence in what I am able to witness now, as we are older and growing from children into adults.

I cherish those late-night rides down the highway, singing along with different harmonies as Mumford and Sons blasts through open windows.

I love the fits of laughter that we still find ourselves in over dinner table conversations.

I find joy in each moment shared, each memory made and each and every second I am these built-in-best-friends of mine.

I share the stage with them.

I laugh with them.

I sing with them.

I bake with them.

I read with them.

And I love them,

More than they can ever know.

The Performer, The Magician, The Builder, The Dancer and Me.

Family really never leaves you, they remain a forever constant in life. I have been so entirely blessed with mine, and though we bicker and argue and fight like all siblings do, I will cherish every single moment and memory until the day I die.