If I were to describe myself to another person, I would simply say that I am a woman of various taste. I am easily enthralled by a variation of style, discussion, culture and cuisine, to name the broad. I like to think that I am this way because I am a naturally curious individual, with an ability to catch the beauty in everything and everyone. I enjoy dabbling in the new and the different, and this especially rings true in my dating life.

Growing up, I have always found black men attractive. My first crush was a young African boy who lived a few blocks up the street from me. He was a generous and kind boy with an infectious smile. One day, while riding my bike, I lost control and welcomed hard concrete. My crush saw the entire thing and rushed to my aid. He bought me ice-cream and even had the heart to carry me home. Nothing became of me and that boy, and although I dearly wanted us to become something more, our course was as short, and beautiful, as a shooting star. My love life was something like a blur after that, and I did not get my first boyfriend until my freshman year of high school. My beau was generous, kind, and possessed an infectious smile, but he was not black.

Almost every black woman I have spoke to regarding this topic have made it clear that they would rather stick to their own race when it came to dating. Very often these women will blame it on attraction, as most of them are guilty of just not "feeling" it when it comes to men of other races. I totally get why that would be an issue. You cannot possibly find yourself becoming intimate with someone you are just not attracted to. Despite this, there exist other excuses like body image, hair, cultural background and education. Sometimes it is something as simple as, "I've never been approached by a Caucasian/Hispanic/Asian/Indian/Native-American/etc. male!"

Unfortunately for these women, they do not have much to choose from anyway. Christian Rudder in, Race and Attraction, revisited the person-to-person interactions on 'OKCupid' with fresh data. Juggling back and forth from 2009 to 2014, the results were astonishing for black females. Almost every male, non-black and black, showed a penalty to black women in their 'QuickMatch' scores. Wait a moment, it become more disturbing. Rudder makes the claim that based off the research and insight throughout the past five years shows that racial bias has intensified, and although the data reflects different people year to year, the users are definitely not any more open-minded than what they used to be. One might say that the demographics on 'OKCupid' is specific in its nature, but Rudder effectively shuts that idea down in the article, stating, "all the dating data I’ve seen fits the website's [OkCupid] pattern" and that DateHookup, another dating site with their own distinct bases, "reflects the same basic biases."

In Gendered Racial Exclusion among White Internet Daters, yet another massive study of online dating conducted by authors Cynthia Feliciano, Belinda Robnett, and Golnaz Komaie, found that, "Over 90% of white women who state a racial preference prefer not to date East Indians, Middle Easterners, Asians, and blacks. White men with stated racial preferences, in contrast, only prefer not to date one group at levels above 90 percent: black women."

So what is the explanation? Is it skin color, one of the most sexually differentiating characteristic in all cultural aspects? Is it facial features, where the mean testosterone levels in blacks are 19 percent higher than whites, thus producing higher levels of masculine characteristics in both men and women (and the main reason of the women's unattractiveness, as Dr. Satasoshi Kanazawa once claimed)? Or is it the media, where the Caucasian/lighter-skinned woman is favored as the beauty ideal in various media, such as advertising and movies? Perhaps it is a collection of all these existences and more.

These articles with their statistics and factual data did little to none to surprise me. It is because growing up, I have always had issues with my appearance and feeling/being perceived as "unattractive." My confidence was challenged every time the beauty that was praised in my favorite magazine was not reflected in the mirror, every time I went to the drug store to scout out foundation that never matched my skin complexion, every time I went to the hair salon to get my hair chemically processed. My position was reminded to me almost daily, and the frustration it served would turn into depressing bitterness once I tucked myself in for bed. Often tearfully upon my pillow, I would ask myself why was I not able to have the things I desired, like a "perfect" nose or naturally straight hair? Then, I began to understand that I was just not meant to have those certain traits, but that did not mean that I was not beautiful. My curvy frame is envied by millions. I do not have to worry about applying liner to achieve fuller lips. Where most women have to lay out in the sun to win a glowing tan, I did not, as I already possessed such a tone year around. And my hair, although "nappy," has great versatility despite of social belief.

It is not all about looks, either. Being a woman is hard enough, but being a black woman means you must fight for your rights twice over, and that fact in itself deserves some serious respect alone. A fact sheet posted on The Center of American Progress lists the state of African-American women in the US. There are a more disheartening statistics than positive, but at least there is progress. For example, black women are known to be great entrepreneurs. "African American women-owned businesses continue to grow despite significant financial and social obstacles," the fact sheet reads. The number of African-American owned businesses in 2013 was estimated at an astounding 1.1 million, and they were all owned by women. These business have comprised 42 percent of businesses owned by women-of-color and 49 percent of all African-American owned businesses overall. These women-owned businesses employed 272,000 workers and generated $44.9 billion in revenue in 2013. And although the level of educational attainment for African-American women has risen very slowly, there is some great educational attainment. Did you know that African-American women have earned more than half of all science and engineering degrees completed by African-Americans—surpassing their male counterparts? African-American woman also work very hard to take care of themselves and their family. Among all African-American households, more than half—53.3 percent—of working wives were breadwinners.

Black women may not be able to change anyone's mind about the matter of attraction, they can surely change the way they feel about themselves. We are strong and beautiful, and the second we stop looking to others for validation, the more gorgeous we will feel. From there, catching the eyes of others will just be a common occurrence, because there is nothing stopping that inner radiance from coming through.