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The Patriots' Super Bowl 51 Victory As Told By Ron Swanson

Well, that was insane.

Caroline Legare

Feb 06, 2017

Holy Cross

The Patriots' Super Bowl 51 Victory As Told By Ron Swanson

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If you're a New England Patriots fan, then you probably suffered cardiac arrest on Sunday night- multiple times. After a disappointing first half, (with a minor distraction from Lady Gaga because she was #flawless,) we knew it would take a blood, sweat, and tears to recover from a 25 point deficit. However, with a riveting fourth quarter, followed by a heart-wrenching overtime round, the Patriots defeated the Falcons 34-28. So, in order to sum up the roller coaster of emotions for all of us, here is the Patriots' Super Bowl Win, as told by Ron Swanson.

1. When we lost the coin toss.

Tails never fails yo...but we start with the ball so....

2. The first time the Falcons scored.

Well....great.

3. The second time the Flacons scored and we still didn't have any points on the board.

DAMMIT.

4. The third time the Falcons scored after a disgusting interception by Robert Alford who then proceeded to run 82 yards into the end zone while we all simultaneously lit ourselves on fire.

And the room goes silent.

5. When Gostkowski kicked a 3 point field goal at the end of the first half and we all collectively decided it was better than 0.

We're on the board, that's good. I can work with that.

6. When the Patriots FINALLY scored a touch down in the third quarter.

YAAAAS.

7. ....And then Gostkowski missed the extra point.

NOOOOOOO.

8. But then the fourth quarter happened...and there was a change in the air.

Whaaaaa?

9. Then the Patriots scored another touchdown, with a two-point conversion and we all started crying.

There's still time!!!

10. And then our lovely Patriots pulled off another one...with a 2 point conversion and we realized that it would mean OT.

OHMYGOD.

11. Then the Patriots won the coin toss and started with the ball in OT.

THIS IS TOO MUCH.

12. Then the Patriots offense #slayed and made their way efficiently up the field.

It was quite arousing.

13. THEN THE PATRIOTS FREAKIN SCORED and we were all-

What?! How?! MY GOD.

Plus....there was that epic moment when the crowd booed the crap out of Roger Goodell, to which we we're all like:

SUPER BOWL CHAMPS.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Patriots' Super Bowl 51 Victory As Told By Ron Swanson

Well, that was insane.

1. When we lost the coin toss.

2. The first time the Falcons scored.

3. The second time the Flacons scored and we still didn't have any points on the board.

4. The third time the Falcons scored after a disgusting interception by Robert Alford who then proceeded to run 82 yards into the end zone while we all simultaneously lit ourselves on fire.

5. When Gostkowski kicked a 3 point field goal at the end of the first half and we all collectively decided it was better than 0.

6. When the Patriots FINALLY scored a touch down in the third quarter.

7. ....And then Gostkowski missed the extra point.

8. But then the fourth quarter happened...and there was a change in the air.

9. Then the Patriots scored another touchdown, with a two-point conversion and we all started crying.

10. And then our lovely Patriots pulled off another one...with a 2 point conversion and we realized that it would mean OT.

11. Then the Patriots won the coin toss and started with the ball in OT.

12. Then the Patriots offense #slayed and made their way efficiently up the field.

13. THEN THE PATRIOTS FREAKIN SCORED and we were all-

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It's Been a Long Winter Break

Making the world safer through language.

1. Use singular they for people whose pronouns you don't know, people who use those pronouns, and stop using him/her.

2. Stop using the words "opposite sex" or "both sexes" or "opposite gender" or "both genders".

3. Ask people's pronouns when you meet them.

4. Use the word cisgender.

5. Stop saying "born a boy/girl" about a transgender or non-binary person.

6. Stop using the term 'preferred pronouns'.

7. Stop using a transgender or non-binary person's dead name.

Normal people wouldn't understand

1. Having time to nap between classes or at all.

2. Waking up 10 minutes before your class starts and making it there in time.

3. Making it to class in general

4. Only having to hit the snooze button three times.

5. When you didn't do the homework and the teacher decides not to collect it for that day.

6. Getting that "I'm sorry, but class is cancelled" email.

7. Finding a quiet seat in the library.

8. Actually enjoying a class and understanding all of the material.

9. Having a friend to eat lunch with.

10. Finishing an assignment before the due date.

11. When there is free food on campus.

Becuase of all things to be addicted to, you're addicted to making money.

1. You can't remember your last day off.

2. Whenever someone asks to hang out, you're working.

3. When you do see your friends, you're in a "treating mood."

4. You work so much you don't have time to spend the money you're making.

5. You're too tired to function when you aren't working.

6. Finally seeing your friends and having way too much to catch up on.

A summer well spent.

1. How to shower in less than 10 minutes.

2. Being comfortable sweating, like all the time.

3. The beauty of not wearing makeup.

4. Naps are essential for survival.

5. Even extreme extroverts need alone time.

6. How to remember names in a few short hours.

7. The freedom in sharing your faults.

8. Showering every day is not necessary.

9. Fake it til you make it.

10. Bugs are the enemy.

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