My name is Julie, and I am a college student that can't say no.
I feel as if college students, also in this situation, are a group of addicts: addicted to resume builders and always having a craving for helping other people. Addicted to creativity, programming, and experiences that will make you a better person. Addicted to seeing their peers have fun while they are stuck on the sidelines cleaning up the food station.
I am grateful for these experiences. As a hopeful student affairs professional, these experiences are molding me into a well-versed candidate for any graduate program in the country I choose to apply to. But I have discovered that I have a tendency to put these resume builders over my own college experience and mental health.
Undergrad is supposed to be the best four years of your life. Whether you're an athlete, sorority/fraternity member, club president, or all of them, your calendar is filled. Every night you have a different event, a different meeting, not to mention keeping up with academics and a social life. You have no time to yourself. You are stuck going through the motions. Your light is slowly burning out. And you are slowly becoming a different person.
So you put up a front. You shield your stress from your friends, sisters/brothers, teammates, advisors, and anyone else who could get you out of the problem. You smile just long enough until you get to your room, lock your door, get in bed, and cry. You get through.
You pray that someone will notice; that somebody will pull you away and ask how you are doing. But it doesn't always happen. But when it does, it is a life-changing moment. It's like you are being pulled out of the pits of your own personal hell. You have been saved.
It is hard to get over the fact that your cover has been blown, but when you finally recognize that you are doing too much, you will never have to hide yourself again. You will notice that your happiness will come back. You will start to recognize what is important to your future, and your happiness. You might have to quit something, take a step back, become a regular member, whatever it takes to give you solace.
Things to remember:
1. Saying no to someone gives you the chance to say yes to yourself.
2. People will not like you any less if you say no.
3. You will have a great future.
4. You will be happy again, eventually.
So, cheers to us: the addicts who are trying to reach sobriety in the form of the word no. We will get through this together.
