The holidays are a lovely time of year. They are cheery and bright, and full of goodwill and love and all those other ooey-gooey emotions that Christmas cards spell out in huge, glittery letters.

However, there is one thing that detracts from the joy of the season…one thing that can make even the most joy-filled person lose every ounce of Christmas spirit and start “Bah-humbug-ing” all over town... and that, dear reader, is the unending stream of Christmas music that assaults the ear wherever there are speakers in public places.

At first, a song here or there is lovely. And the classics like good old Frank and Bing, and Aaron Neville will always warm the heart. But the trickle swiftly becomes a raging torrent of bad covers and cheesy pop. They begin in OCTOBER in some places (poor Thanksgiving gets overlooked), and there are so many remixes that by December your ears are bleeding.

Now I love a good Christmas tune as much as the next person, and my dream is to karaoke “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” with someone who sings like Dean Martin. But I think there should be a screening process. I propose the following list of questions for future artists who intend to produce the Christmas album:

1. How many times has it been remade already? Because if it has been sung, remixed, mashed up, etc., more than 10 times, chances are you should leave it be.

2. Is there an iconic version already in the radiosphere? If there’s one that surpasses all the rest, one that stands the test of time and survives through decades without competition, then you may not be able to eclipse that. Not to say you shouldn’t try, but maybe think long and hard about that decision before you put it in action.

3. Finally, and most importantly, is it, in fact, a good song? If you can’t answer this with an immediate affirmative, then leave it be, for the sake of all! There are so many holiday songs that are really just terrible, and they’ve been replicated and reproduced past the point of decency in many cases.

So, to the aspiring Christmas musician, there’s your checklist. Peruse it, study it, and think carefully about your actions.

To the reader, keep your head up. The holidays are swiftly drawing to a close, and the music is just a small part of the big picture. Don’t let the bad songs drive away those ooey-gooey feelings, and don’t be ashamed to sing the good ones at the top of your lungs.

After all, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” – Buddy the Elf