We are human, we are flawed, and we all make mistakes a time or two. As a human we desire to be accepted, loved, and wanted. Quite often than not our behavior towards the ones we love is opposite to that. It's hard to understand why someone would want to push away the one who truly cares for them. All you really want is for someone to hug you and tell you that it is all going to be okay, and stay. You want them to stay, but instead all you can do is push them away more because of the pain that you have experienced in the pasted caused by others.
The millions of electrifying nerve ending in your brain makes you have a behavior so opposite than what you truly want. After a while when people start to push you away in their life, it just becomes a common theme in yours. You think that that is what your suppose to do,what you deserve; mainly because you don’t know anything other feeling than the feeling of being in fear. Fearing that they will hurt you just like the last few have done so, makes you build your walls so high around your heart no one can get in.
When you are being pushed away by someone you truly care about, it stings. All these thoughts and emotions go straight through you, making you think that you did something wrong and that you are not good enough. You are sick and tired of countless people that have gone in and out of your life. Some being stupid reasons and some with no reason at all. You leave before you are left. You leave before you get hurt again and it is as simple as that.
From a psychological standpoint, it is basic and common, defensive mechanism to push away the people you love the most. Those people are often the ones we do not appreciate at all. However, it is not just in relationships where we push people away, but in all personal interactions. Studies have shown that we do not realized on a conscious level that we doing these things to others. Instead we get caught in a hamster wheel of diminished self-esteem that is caused by negative personal experiences or have been personally victimized by others. These remembrances of the pain that you have experienced have left a long lasting impression on you. The defensive mechanism almost automatically fires.
Sometimes it is okay to push people away, negative or positive. But when you do, remember this; it is rare for someone to comeback to you no matter how many times you push them away. But you cannot also be always pushing people away because someday nobody will come back. So if someone does come back to you after you have pushed them away, hold them closely. Let them be your anchor is this rough deep sea of people who never came back.
