To you...who never feels like enough
You are, more than you will ever know
To you...who feels like no one ever cares enough
They do, it is just hard to accept their help and offers
To you...who listens to everyone else’s pain and helps them through it, while giving everything you have left inside
You deserve to be heard and people are in your corner
It is easier to give and give until you are empty inside, then take some for yourself, I get it. When someone compliments you or tries to express your worth, you cannot accept it. The depression and suicidal thoughts try and tell you, you should feel empty inside and your pain and suffering must remain a secret from everyone else, because if you shared those dark thoughts it would make you a burden, and God forbid you’d be a burden. People want to hear you pain and walk by your side through the journey of recovery.
It is easy to think, “maybe I deserve this pain” , “the cuts and skipped meals are for everything I’ve done wrong and I should be punished” , “no one actually cares”.
But maybe, just maybe, you don’t deserve that pain, you don’t deserve those cuts, you don’t deserve to starve because you’ve done nothing wrong, and people want to help you.
There is nothing wrong with you, I promise. You are worthy. I could say this over and over again until I could no longer type and in all honesty, that wouldn’t change your thinking pattern. I wish more than anything I change those thoughts and you could see the way other people see you, as someone who is amazing, kind spirited, determined, and so many other things. But I can’t because it takes you actually accepting that worth and believing for yourself and that takes time. Be gentle with yourself in this process, take it day by day and you will get there.
Your worth is not defined by the struggles and situations you face, you are worthy no matter what. Whether you struggle with suicidal thoughts, self-harm, depression, you’ve faced abuse, you’ve been in foster care, none of that defines your worth, it only makes you stronger and you deserve to be loved by others and yourself. You deserve to feel worthy of speaking up for yourself, sharing your pain, and telling your story.
You make a difference and this world would not be the same without you in it. Please remember that despite what others may say or your brain may try and tell you, you are worthy of love and happiness.
If you are struggling reach out to those around you and/or call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741-741.