Dear Grandma,

They say it gets better but it never does. I wasn't very close to you growing up; although I was closer to you closer to the end of your life which makes your death ten times worse. I always longed to have a better relationship with you but unfortunately our time was cut short. For six months you clung onto your life, treatment after treatment you fought, which made me look up to you even more than I already did. The strength you showed throughout those six months is astonishing, but as time passed we knew you couldn't hold on anymore. I was there when everyone decided you shouldn't be in pain anymore; I had never had such heart-wrenching pain but also so much joy knowing you were safe in the hands of the Lord.

You were so talented from the dresses you sewed, crocheting, painting and baking. Every holiday was such a treat with all the food you made like baked mac and cheese and apple pie which makes every holiday so much harder. You'd never let anyone go home with an empty stomach and sent weeks worth of leftovers home with each of us. I wish I could go back to the times you took me into craft stores anytime we went out in public; complaining about wanting to go back home maybe then I wouldn't complain so much. Or when we went to shipshewana and stayed the whole weekend together and you'd always buy tye-dyed shirts and fabric (every single time not even exaggerating) and go to Das Dutchman Essenhaus to eat fried chicken.

You make me proud to be who I am today. I'm following in your footsteps of being a nurse; when you passed it made me realize I wanted to help people and I wish I could've told you, you would've been so happy to hear that I wanted to be like you. I hope you're proud to have me as your granddaughter, because I'm without a doubt proud to have you as a grandmother. You're inspirational.

I'll love you forever and a day.

-Erika