When I found out I was going to become an aunt, I was overjoyed with happiness; there is nothing comparable to the feeling that you get when your sister is about to receive the greatest gift she could ever wish for — a baby!
When I found out that this baby was going to be a girl, my heart became even happier. But after putting some thought into it, my brain began to dig itself into a hole of sad thoughts. I became scared for what the world would shatter in this little baby's mind. Now I am not my niece's mom, but I do care for her more than I have cared for anyone else, and I wish I could protect her from all the uglies in this world?
What's going to happen when someone makes her feel ugly? What's going to happen when someone tries to shame her for her weight? What is going to happen someone breaks her heart, making her feel lonely or rejected?
These thoughts came into my mind after watching a YouTube video, in which this really normal and healthy-looking girl told her story about her eating disorder through years and years of hiding it from the people in her life, all because since she was 12 years old she felt "fat."
I did not want my niece to be a victim of the culturally constructed views of what a beautiful image is supposed to look like. The word "fat" should not be the worst thing a person could possibly be. And that is what I want to focus on today: body dysmorphia, among girls specifically. While sadly, boys also struggle with expectations that society places on them over their bodies and is also an important conversation, I thought that maybe today we could focus on the girl issue.
As an active feminist and body image activist, I take note of the overarching problems that are up to me to try to understand and educate other people. Let's begin with some definitions (which I simplified) that might be useful for the purposes of this article.
Body dysmorphia: a person is driven by the preoccupation of an imagined physical defect that others may not even be able to see.
Eating disorder: within the range of anorexia nervosa, binge eating, bulimia nervosa, restrictive food intake disorder, it is a psychological disorder distinguished by abnormal/disturbed eating habits.
Now I have been called fat, ugly, manly and many other insults that have been intended for me to take note of my personal self-image, as a kid this did affect me, as I am sure that many other people have faced with this issue before in their life as well. But instead of telling you anecdotal reasons why I get so upset over hearing body-shaming comments I see other people remark toward girls, I will just give you the facts, reflecting the body dysmorphia among girls of all ages that lead them to more dangerous paths of taking care of their bodies.
1. Teen anorexia affects all social classes.
2. Ninety percent of all Americans suffering with an eating disorder are female.
3. Four out of 10 individuals have either personally experienced an eating disorder or know someone who has.
4. More than 50 percent of teenage girls and 33 percent of teenage boys are using restrictive measures to lose weight at any given time.
5. Eighty-one percent of 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat.
6. Of American elementary school girls who read magazines, 69 percent say that the pictures influence their concept of the ideal body shape. Forty-seven percent say the pictures make them want to lose weight.
7. It is common for eating disorders to occur with one or more other psychiatric disorders such as Obsessive compulsive disorders, anxiety, depression and mood disorders.
8. The diet industry is a $20 billion. Yes billion-dollar industry!
9. Doctors are more likely to chastise you for being overweight than for being underweight, regardless of the fact that being underweight is just as dangerous as being overweight.
10. The average American woman is 5 foot 4 inches tall and weighs 165 pounds. The average Miss America winner is 5 foot 7 inches and weighs 121 pounds.
After you have taken time to reflect on these facts, I am here to say that body acceptance is something we should all aim for, not only for ourselves but for those who are watching us. I honestly would never want my niece to hear me call myself fat or ugly, because that just makes it okay for her to do the same. Let's also stop making the word "anorexic" a joke, and let's focus on what is important for our bodies to be strong in our own ways. Know your body, all the things that make it up (genetics, internal functions and even eating habits because while we should not feel guilty about having bread and cookies; we should not base our diet solely on candy and soda). Finally, let's all take this issue seriously; mental health is just as important and physical health, and battling with your own brain may just be the toughest thing you could ever imagine.
And my message to girls is stop spending so much time controlling your diet, and planning out your meals in order to look like the model you see on the cover of a magazine and spend your time educating yourself on whatever makes your mind develop into something much more beautiful than what you hoped your body to look like.
