Ever since middle school, I've been in a constant battle with my body. I would tell myself, "your thighs are too big," and, "since you treated yourself today, you have to eat cleaner tomorrow."
I have starved myself and counted calories in hopes to see the number on the scale drop. During this time of self-punishment, I would typically skip breakfast because that left me with a lower calorie intake and only two meals per day. For lunch and dinner, I would eat a granola bar and a slice of cheese. However, the worst part of it all, was even though I saw the number on the scale drop, I was never satisfied. Eventually, I began eating again, and even though the number on the scale went up, this was not a bad thing. I was eating healthier and exercising. Just because the number on the scale drops, it does not mean you are healthy. This was one of the hardest truths I had to swallow.
Now, do not get me wrong. I still struggle with accepting my body -- it is not easy to accept something you've spent the majority of your life hating. People can tell you all they want that "the number on the scale does not matter," and "you are beautiful just the way you are," but in order to start believing it, those words have to come from you.
In this life, we are given one body. We must cherish and take care of our bodies not only physically, but mentally. We are our own worst critics. With one negative thought or affirmation, our self-acceptance plummets.
Self-acceptance and self-love are both critical in the affirmation of self. It is accepting our flaws: scars, stretch marks, and even the number on the scale. I realized, in order to love myself, I had to accept all of my imperfections. Some days it is easier to do this than others. Nevertheless, I do not let my negative self-talk consume me because then that would mean I let hate win.
There is no clear answer as to how I learned, and am still learning, to accept my body. Self-acceptance is different for everyone, but I do know one thing: you have to love yourself first to love your body.
Life offers us so many experiences, and the number on the scale only takes up a small part. You are more than the number on the scale. You are enough.
