We all know one. The boy who comes from a good family with good values. A christ-like figure who can do no wrong. The one who would never hurt a fly. He is good and pure because people have told him so. A girl's dream right? How could you go wrong with a boy like that? A "good" boy may be genuine at heart but too much of a good thing can't be all good.
The problem with these "too good to be true" boys is that they are extremely aware that society has labeled them as "good". They believe what everyone says about them is true. They cling to this identity that has been made up for them until it consumes them completely and it's all they know. Their social identity is so skewed that they are unable to be their own person anymore. Their only concern is keeping up on their outside image that others have made up for them.
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Eventually they are no longer their own person, just an outcome of what society has told them to be.
The truth about these "good" boys is that they are no different than any of us. They are just as flawed and imperfect as everyone on this earth, except they believe they can do no wrong. But when they do make mistakes they blame their actions on those who surround them instead of taking the blame for themselves. They are close minded and thus shallow, they never give themselves a chance to thrive because they are so set in their "good" boy ways.
What are these boys like behind the curtain they put up? Who are they once you really get to know them? These boys do things their mothers would not be proud of. They are completely different from the "Godly Dating" posts they share on Facebook. They are not the respectable men they say they are, the men that mother's want their daughter's to date. They may not come across as abusive, but no one ever thinks about the damage words can have on our emotions.
These days people don't realize how out of hand emotional abuse has become. In a generation of social media, words hurt just as bad as an actual punch. Those "good" guys are good at using words to their advantage, to make sure they always keep up their "good" boy image. The scary part is that these boys don't realize they are capable of such abuse. They think to themselves, "I'm a good guy, I can't be capable of hurting someone, I respect women". These thoughts flow through their mind in endless loops, ensuring themselves that they could never be the one to cause abuse.
And they believe themselves.
The truth is, there is no such thing as a "good" person. Who defines "good" anyway? We all sin, we all have our flaws, it's what makes the world so perfectly imperfect. Many of us are able to accept and move on, but for others it's not enough. They struggle with this internal battle of what others think about them, it's a vicious cycle. Until we can separate from the idea that we have to be "good" and "pure" to be respected in life, we will continue to struggle to break the social identity barrier.
Sure, a "good" guy is the dreambut they are hard to come by in this world, and they will be for a long time.
To the guys who believe they are "good" (but blame their narcissistic actions on anyone but themselves), I'm sorry for you, and I hope one day you will realize that the only person you have to blame for your actions, is yourself.
