There are definite winners and definite losers when it comes to ranking the NESCAC's 11 mascots (well, actually ten at the moment, but we will get to that). The New England Small College Athletic Conference, often regarded as the Little Ivies, are highly competitive in national school rankings, but no one ever looks at who has the best mascot. There may be a little bias in the rankings, but overall, they are pretty accurate.
11. Amherst (No Mascot)
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Formerly the Lord Jeffs, Amherst has recently removed all ties to the name as of January 2016. This decision was prompted by many protests over the controversial history of Lord Jeffrey Amherst, for whom the town and the mascot were named. Thus, having no mascot, Amherst, by default, is ranked last.
Had they not removed Lord Jeff as their mascot, Amherst would still probably be last because who worse is there to make your mascot than someone who advocated for Native Americans to be given blankets with smallpox? That's right. Nobody. Did I hear the moose is a candidate for the new mascot?
10. Colby White Mules
I do not believe many will argue that Colby has one of the worst mascots. Not to mention, Colby has one of the most joked about mascots in all of the NESCAC. It is hard to be a member of the NESCAC and not have heard, "At least our mascot isn't sterile." Yes, the mule is a sterile, horse-donkey hybrid.
The mascot originated when an editorial proclaimed Colby to no longer be a "dark horse," but instead a "white mule" after upsets were becoming frequent amongst fellow NESCAC teams. Believe me, I'd much rather be a dark horse than a while mule any day. It really does not get much more embarrassing. I am sorry, students of Colby, but you know it's true.
9. Trinity Bantams
No matter how the mascot or logo is designed, it is pretty hard to make poultry scary or intimidating. Bantams are not "just chickens," they are the small counterpart to chickens. As a noun, bantam is defined as "a chicken characterized by very small size." As an adjective, bantam is defined as "diminutive; tiny." Either way, the Trinity Bantams simply cannot win. Also, this mascot is quite phallic (cock, anyone?). On the bright side, the Bantams didn't condone murder, and they can reproduce.
8. Wesleyan Cardinals
The Cardinals, plainly put, are very unoriginal. Not once in my life have I considered the cardinal to be a fierce bird. Coming from a high school who's mascot was a cardinal, I have no problem putting the Wesleyan Cardinals this low in the rankings. Why? Because my high school was a Catholic school, so at least there was the relation to the clerical position within the Church. Wesleyan chose the cardinal because their school colors were black and red, which many saw as similar to the cardinal. This mascot seems like a cop-out to me.
7. Middlebury Panthers
The panther is definitely a badass animal. There is no question about that. An elusive, endangered big cat that lives solely in the forests and swamps of southern Florida has certainly earned its reputation. However, when it comes to the big cats of the world, they are the least threatening, having never attacked a human. I would be far more terrified if a jaguar or lion was coming at me. Needless to say, the panther is mildly lackluster in comparison the rest of the NESCAC mascots.
6. Williams Ephs
Named for the college's founder, Ephraim Williams, the Ephs (rhymes with 'chiefs') are purple and gold cows. The cow emerged as the school mascot in a rather lame way. A student humor magazine at the school titled "The Purple Cow" swayed the student population to choose the cow as their official mascot in 1907, 114 years after the college was established. If it had not been for originality and uniqueness of the mascot, the Ephs would rank lower. In addition, the Ephs were also named "Most Lovable College Mascot" by Reader's Digest.
5. Hamilton Continentals
Hamilton now has the only non-animal mascot in the NESCAC after Amherst dropped Lord Jeff. Their mascot, technically the Continentals, is a man referred to as "Alex," a shorthand for Alexander Hamilton for whom the school is named. Let's break this down a bit. First, calling themselves "a continental" is bold. They are equating themselves to the soldiers of the Continental Army that won America's Revolutionary War. On top of that, they aren't just equating themselves to any continental soldier, but to Alexander Hamilton, Washington's chief aide. Talk about hype. This earns Hamilton's mascot a spot in the top five.
4. Conn College Camels
Talk about unique, Connecticut College has the camel as their mascot. A good mascot is rich in history, and that is exactly the case with the Connecticut College Camels. The mascot became official in 1969, when the college became co-ed and sports teams emerged on campus. A faculty member with Navy experience in the Middle East offered the camel as a suggestion in both a serious and humorous manner. He said he remembered the camel as a symbol of endurance, determination and strength. I mean, you can't take life too seriously, so why not add a little humor to your mascot? Conn easily earns a place in the top four.
3. Tufts Jumbos
The Jumbos have quite the history behind their mascot. Their mascot was an elephant that actually lived in the 1800s. At the time, Jumbo was the largest known elephant, standing at 12 feet tall and weighing more than six tons. Jumbo traveled around with the famous Barnum and Bailey's Circus before being struck and killed by a train. While the elephant is no doubt a cool animal to have as a mascot, Tufts' choice in having a show animal (which are often mistreated and transported in poor conditions) as their mascot is questionable.
2. Bowdoin Polar Bears
Any animal that can endure the Arctic is incredible, and that is exactly what Bowdoin was going for when they chose the polar bear as their mascot. The history behind this mascot lies with Admiral Robert E. Peary, the first man to reach the North Pole and a graduate of Bowdoin. Having a mascot that represents the unforgiving conditions of the arctic is undeniably awesome. No matter how hard you try, it is hard to knock down the polar bear. Also, kudos to Bowdoin for paying homage to a highlight in their long, impressive history.
1. Bates Bobcats
Finally, the Bates Bobcat is the number one mascot in the NESCAC. I know what you are thinking: How can the bobcat be number one when it is not unique? By that fact alone, you are right. The bobcat is not unique. However, Bates appropriately elected the bobcat to be their school's mascot more unanimously than any other school with the bobcat as their mascot. The bobcat is a small animal that fights as if it were ten times its size. It adapts to any environment that lives in. A predator by nature, the bobcat feasts on animals much large larger than it. Native to the area, bobcats emanate the spirit found at Bates College. As one supporter stated when the bobcat was announced as the mascot, "It is small, but oh, how it can fight."
