The dichotomy of childhood and adulthood is one that is presented to us and instilled throughout our social lives. Much like all social constructions of identity, adulthood holds within it several assumed implications. In terms of this mainstream duality, a child is innocent, naive, irresponsible, unproductive, unknowledgeable, makes mistakes and is unaware of who they are. A “true” adult poses to be the exact opposite of that — as a responsible, knowledgable, productive member of “society” who is completed, successful whole.
But these assumptions about adulthood inevitably imply that there is a ceiling of lessons to be learned and mistakes to be made, that the initiation of adulthood is to reach that ceiling and miraculously become a person without flaw, contradiction or uncertainty.
This problematic dichotomy has roots within this religiously utilized idea of “progress” essential to modernity. The job of America and American culture is surrounded by the process of progressing — to progress in your education so you get a good job, to progress in your relationships so that you have a companion for life, for imperialist conquest to progress in their God-demanded deed of conquest. The only way to “make America great again” is to progress. Adulthood has been positioned as the site of an achieving of progress. This explains why adulthood is incredibly romanticized and why lure of growing up is so enticing.
Being that I had never felt drawn to totalizing and confident opinions on specific topics, specifically in the political arena, I had always questioned whether or not “I knew who I was” or had yet reached a level of “matureness” to make those conclusions. Up until recently, with avid reading of reconstructive theories of society and its social constructs, had I began to see the faltering in my mindset.
To be a moldable and uncertain thinker was not telling as to whether I had found myself but rather revealed my open-minded nature.
Dualities are social constructions. What we deem as mature and frown upon as childly, just as what we think is beautiful or masculine, are all meanings to which have been transformed into subconscious nature through history. We are told these meanings are true without any notion of their arbitrary grounding. Tattoos and body jewelry are unprofessional. Unattainable body shapes are thought of as ideal. But why?
Society is constructed off of these dualities and categories. We claim as all of these different identities (for example, I’m a woman, singer, writer, songwriter, daughter, sister, pants-wearer, etc…) because we are convinced that they exist. In actuality though, they are all titles that imply certain characteristics and were created to make sense of our surroundings.
What these titles ultimately do is create a false sense of a totalizing self and find the means to differ people from one another. They separate the mothers and the fathers. They separate people of color and white people. They separate the oppressed and the oppressor. They separate the powerful from the powerless. Without difference, there is no authority.
As adults, it is implied that we must conform to these totalizing identities. We must be whole figures, with grounded ideas from which our children and younger generations should learn. But this is all fabricated yet evidently imperative if one wants to have any minuscule fraction of power.
Nothing is more evident of this phenomenon than in the institution of government, and specifically, this current presidential election.
The two parties that run the entire political process are the Republican Party and the Democratic Party. Both parties stand as complete opposites. They are a totalizing dualism. In order to vote in the state primaries one must adhere to either the Republican Party or the Democratic Party. To have any say in who will lead your country, you must claim yourself as an individual that agrees will all of what the party represents.
You must legally assign yourself to a totalizing party, even if you don’t necessarily agree with all that it stands for. If you are a person who's in that in between state of opinions, and are registered as Independents or the Green Party or even more outrageous and radical one, the Women-Equality Party, then you are short out of luck. You can’t participate in voting, and you forfeit your authority to have any say in your future leader. I’m registered as an Independent, so I couldn’t vote in the primaries. Hillary Clinton won New York. Enough said.
This idea of being complete and totalizing that comes from these restricting identities enforced on us in our American dialect and modern discourse is evident in the debating process of this same election as well. On several occasions when politicians were asked about contradicting statements and opinions on certain political matters, they either dodged the question or made excuses. Not once, in any debate did I hear “Because of such, such and such, I have changed my opinion and stance on this matter,” or anything of that nature.
Politicians, much like adults in general, are expected to maintain their opinions and ideologies and there is no room for growth or any inclination of open-mindedness, because they have reached their ceiling. Republicans and Democrats are constantly at odds without room for compromise or negotiation because of this. When you notice how the amount of legislation that has surmounted the Congressional process is at an all time low, you come to question the "efficiency" of your government. Unless you blame the other party, you are not a part of for all wrong-doings, then you have Democrats saying, “Republicans are ruining this country,” or vise versa.
This duality causes friction and the blame game in political discussion. You have candidates such as Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump who poke fun at other candidates rather than discuss why they have the stance they do on political issues. The entire political party system is just a means of authority and separation. They separate us so that we trail off from the actual problem — the system of power that leaves as little freedom and agency as possible for the citizen.
It is OK to be unsure. It is OK to change your mind. It is OK to be incomplete because there is no such thing as being complete. Keep an open mind, and make room for negotiation, because there will always be new perspectives and ideas and studies that make you question when you think and know.
So the next time you are told to get your s--t together because you’re supposed to be an adult soon, just ponder about what that actually means to that person and whether or not that is what you want for yourself. Keep an open mind, and make room for negotiation. Constantly question your surroundings and what you're told. That is what adulthood should entail.
