To the mother who thought she knew best, I thank you. You held me at arm's length while expecting that to teach me what the world was like. You let everything come before your children and then still expected them to owe you their gratitude. Sorry but that's not how that works. You don't get to pick and choose when you'll love and protect your children.
When your child tells you that the man you are planning to marry is abusing them, you're supposed to believe them. When you actually witness the abuse, you aren't supposed to take his side.
Sadly that's all you did.
When you watched him drag me across the house by my hair, you took his side. When you watched him beat your son to the floor and kick him out the door for standing up for himself, you took his side. Yet when I ran away to get away from the abuse, you called me and told me I was a bad child and that you two were just trying to make me into a good one.
So I turned 18 and I left.
First my grandmothers and then my dads. It's nice to hear that none of your kids have made you proud, does that include my 17-year-old brother who sold four years of his life to the Marine Core? I know it includes the daughter who calls you out on your bullshit.
I lived my life in fear of you. In fear of saying or doing the wrong thing. I became a mother to the two brothers I had and now, since I won't play by your rules, I'm not even allowed to see them. When I confronted you about the abuse you just said that you didn't have to explain yourself, that we weren't abused. Tell me what hitting kids with screwdrivers is, tell me what demeaning a child's self-worth is, tell me what being dragged by my hair is.
We lied to CPS out of fear of being separated and out of fear of you. Great job, your kids fear you like a ruthless dictator who could have us jailed for life. I may not be a mother but I know the kind I want to be.
I want to be a mother who listens to her kids. I want to be a mother that has kids who know they can go to her for anything. I want to be the mother that is known for how much she loves her kids. I don't want my kids to be afraid of me.
Thank you for teaching me what not to do as a mother. I'll be sure to not end up the way you did.
I'll always love you but if doing good for my life and my future family to not know the life I had means cutting you out of mine, I will.
Thank you, Mom, I hope you get the life you want and have kids you'll actually be proud of. I'll stand by my brother as he's in the marines and at least my brothers and I will always have each other.