When it comes to relationships, there’s a lot more to it than trying to achieve #relationshipgoals. Maintaining a healthy relationship requires a lot of aspects that some of us overlook. It’s not all about looking happy on social media — it’s about actually being happy. Relationships are not a walk in the park, and if you neglect these characteristics, the relationship will fall flat.

I asked some friends of mine what the most important thing is to them in a relationship. Here are some of the answers I got: communication, trust, forgiveness, patience, flexibility, loyalty, dependability, compatibility, compromise, understanding, support, and honesty.

Communication seemed to be the most popular amongst the answers I received. In relationships, you have to be able to communicate well with your partner in order to understand each other. You cannot read each other’s minds. Lack of communication will cause confusion, anger, and frustration in the relationship. Talking to each other clears up so many misunderstandings!

Trust and loyalty play a huge part in any relationship. By trusting your partner, it gives you confidence in yourself, your partner, and most importantly, the relationship. The point is for you to only want each other, no room for anyone else.

Patience was an answer I wasn’t expecting to receive. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that patience is a very important quality in any relationship. When things get tough, do you still want to be with that person? A true test that life throws at you is making things difficult in life at a certain time and seeing if you can persevere through that hard time with the support of your partner. Will one fight send you both your separate ways? Or will patience make you stick around?

As we all know, nobody is perfect, nor is any relationship. Forgiveness was one that struck a cord with me because forgiveness is sometimes the best thing to do and it lifts a weight off of your shoulders. To be able to forgive your partner is to be able to move on from the issue. Obviously, if the issue is not so forgivable, this may not be the way to go. For small things that you will be able to get over, it is best to forgive and move on.

Flexibility in any relationship is important. You both have your own lives, your own families, your own friends, and things that are important to you. Coordinating schedules and getting to do things you enjoy is very important. This goes back to the topic of communication by telling your partner you are doing this tonight or going here tomorrow. You both need time for other things in your life and making sure you have flexibility in the relationship will enable you to do that.

In any relationship, your partner should be someone you can rely and depend on. Dependability is an important quality for any person to have and it is even more important to stick to that. Your partner should be able to rely on you, keep promises, and support each other. Your partner should be responsible for that, too. It is comforting to know that you can go to them for anything and vice versa.

While asking friends about what the most important thing is in a relationship, I got some answers I didn’t expect but were things that are essential in any relationship. These characteristics will make your relationship stronger and both partners happier overall. Hopefully, you can see these qualities in your relationship and even learn and improve on new ones.