He’s back. The Monster.

But this time, He didn’t come for me.

He’s different now. He’s changed shape; he’s changed form.

I do not appeal to him anymore.

Instead, he has my loved ones brainwashed, he’s wrapped them around his finger just like he had me.

Why?

Why must you do this?

They do not want you, Monster, they do not need you.

I need them, not you.

They’ve told me the things you’ve done to them; the mocking whispers you tell them. I've seen the letters you've left him too:

“...We get along so well and you function perfectly, even if it seems like you can't to other people. You can't do anything without me. I am no good for you but you still love me. We're such an unhealthy couple but you need me...You need me even though you don't, I'm here to ruin your life but you can't seem to shake me..."

You're Right, Monster. He doesn't need you, so why do you let him think that?

He’s consumed them; transformed them into everything they wish they weren’t. His grasp, his voice, is stronger than I ever knew. The Monster has hold of everyone, and he will not let go this time.

The Monster’s back, and this time everything is different.

Before the Monster’s intentions were to hurt, and inflict pain. He just wanted to have some control, some power. But now, the Monster’s looking for lives to make his own; the Monster is looking for lives to take.

This time, he's back, but he leaves with his victim.

The Monster’s back, and this time, he took my best friend with him.

Addiction.

Whether it comes in the form of drugs, alcohol, self mutilation, or even in an emotion, Addiction is a form of a behavior disorder--mental illness.

The types of addiction vary, and the reasons underlying the addictions are severely different as well. Each addiction has it own mind destroying story. But with every story, every different person and pathway, the same connection can made: addiction has the same voice.

My Monster was that anything that could pierce my skin, and bring back the pain of being human; specifically a razor blade and on more "addicted" days--a box cutter gave me my relief.

I was addicted to something that gave me something, and relieved emotions I did not know how to feel.

Many often assume an addiction is created by choice of action, and because of that action, one must suffer the negative consequences because he or she chose to do it. An addict created the monster, therefore an addict must deal with the struggles and misery of the addiction. Many will fight that addiction is not a disease or disorder; addiction is portrayed as a crime and punishment within today's society. The definition of a disease, provided by Merriam Webster Dictionary, is “an illness that affects a person, animal, or plant : a condition that prevents the body or mind from working normally.” Addiction interferes not only with how a person lives his or her life, addiction also interferes with how a persons views his or her self, personal morals, and ultimately takes everything, from the sufferer.

If a non-addict where to ask an addict if they wanted their addiction--their struggle--the answer would automatically be no. Like no one wants to die, no one wants to suffer either.

According to The National Institute on Drug Abuse, over thirty million Americans stuffer with some form of addiction. Each day, that number grows. Of those thirty million, it is estimated that twenty five million Americans are addicted to alcohol, illicit drugs, and/or prescription medication. Addiction contributes to other disorders, such as self mutilation disorders like self-injury, Anorexia Nervousa, and even binge-eating disorder. Addiction consumes nearly 10% of America’s population, but that percentage only includes the percentage of Americans who have steps forward to fight addiction.

The number of those still suffering in silence is unknown, but estimated to contribute double to the recorded percentages. An example provided by "Rehabs": for every eight addicts, only one is seeking professional treatment and help.

What makes addiction unlike any other disease or disorder is that it is never really gone. Recovery is not like taking a medicine and getting better slowly, until the bacteria has left your immune system; there is no “cure” or “sign” that addiction has left our bodies. Addiction can be managed and monitored, by those recovering and medical professionals contributing to treatment. But addiction’s voice never leaves the body.

What I and many others who are recovering will agree that even though our addictions have left our body, battle is still on going. Recovery is a battle between triggers and relapse. Triggers, or the memories, of addiction are unforeseen and unwanted, but still appear nearly every day. Triggers usually come out of no where. The scent of something, a particular place, even a noise, sets of millions of reminds of the life we left behind. The trigger. The memories always instantly fill our minds; our bodies feel the addiction running through our veins once again. We long for the monster that destroyed us, we wish for one more taste of his poison. We’re back where we once started, but we aren’t scared. And that’s what’s scary the most.

Confronting a trigger has the option of two resolutions. One: the trigger is faced and we resist. We learn that we do not want the addiction, the addiction wants us, and we do not give in to the monster’s powerful words. The trigger turns into step crossed, a weakness that was overpowered. That’s what the goal always is: to beat the trigger.

But sometimes the trigger's stronger than us. The other end result of facing a trigger, is falling to it.

Relapse occurs when the recovering return back to the addiction due to triggers. According to the National Center for Mental Health Statistics, recovering drug users have a 67% chance of relapse within the first year of recovery, and recovering self mutilators have a 27% chance of relapse within the first year of recovery.

Of the drug related relapses, an estimated 9% are fatal relapses.

Drug addiction is not only the top leading addiction in the United States, but now addiction is also the leading cause of death. In the last year, addiction has been the direct cause of over 600,000 deaths, just below heart disease which took a little over 750,000 lives.

As myself, loved ones, and my entire community has learned, addiction is real. Addiction can happen to anyone, at any time, and at any age. Even while recovering, we have faced the destruction that addiction can implement on an individual's life. We have learned the grief and the pain of the lives taken by the monster of addiction.

Currently, the United States, as well as the rest of the world, is facing an epidemic. Addiction is a spreading disease that has transformed the way the world views itself. Those suffering, and recovering from addiction know the power the Monster holds within us long after he has left. Those who do not, we want you to not know either. Addiction never fully leaves the body, and it is never wanted to begin with. Once addiction has entered a person's life, it is most likely to stay forever. Addiction carries a stigma of being wanted, or self inflicted. This stigma unfortunately contributes to the growth of Addiction itself. Addiction is a disease like asthma, heart disease, and cancer. As a nation, we understand the dangers of heart disease and risk factors to contribute to it. We understand that we can not cure cancer, but we are able inhibit the tumor's growth, and eliminate any evidence of cancer within the body.

So then we must be able to understand the disease of addiction, and how just like cancer, or any other disease that inhabits our bodies, addiction is not something chosen or deserved. Addiction is a disease that needs treatment, and can not be controlled without. It's not limited to one form, or one usage. Addiction plays in our streets with our children; addiction is waiting for us at the store, dinner, and even the doctor's. Addiction lies with us within our beds at night, and finds us at our weakness moments.

Addiction is a Monster, and now, the Monster's here to stay with us all.