There has always been the argument whether being a stay at home mother or a working mother is better for children. Women decide between them, but it doesn't mean one choice is better than the other. Society just needs to respect whatever decisions mothers make without judging them because they already have enough on their plate as it is. The mommy wars are all about the judgment of women for choosing what others believe is the wrong choice. Unfortunately, a lot of this arguing and judgment comes from women themselves. That's the worst part because women already have so much working against them, they shouldn't be attacking or looking down on each other, but instead, be supporting each other and their decisions.
Personally, I've decided I want to be a working mother when I have my own children. However, I have friends that have told me that when they have their own children they want to be stay at home mothers. Knowing that doesn't make me look down on them, and them knowing my desire doesn't make them look down on me either, because we all have the understanding that everyone's lives are their own and with that comes the freedom to make their own decisions. Everyone has different opinions, situations, experiences and desires. Understanding that and realizing how it applies to motherhood is important because without it there's no respect, and disrespect is one of the worst things in this world.
The mommy wars are not just about being a stay at home mom or a working mother either. It's about any and all choices a mother makes in regards to her children and how she chooses to raise them. For example, whether a mother decides to homeschool or use public schools, or let their kids watch more TV than others, or raise their kids with religion or not. However, what mothers choose is best for their children is their decision, and who are other people to judge that? Society, women, or other mothers. It's perfectly fine to have your own opinion regarding what you would choose to do with your own children, but that does not make it okay to try to influence or "correct" what other mothers choose. You do not have the right to say a mother doesn't love her children based on her decisions. You do not get to decide that she's a bad mother because of them. If those types of judgments are the ones you make, they are unwarranted, rude and quite frankly, a very crystal clear depiction of who you are as a person.
A few years ago, a group of mothers in Connecticut took a stand against the mommy wars and decided to embrace their varying parenting choices. They have their own website with the motto, "Support. Strength. Sisterhood." They also had a photo shoot that depicted the various differences that the group of mothers had in raising their children. The photo shoot was their way of showing that despite the differences, they all respected and supported each other. To view, the photo shoot click here. To view the almost 5-minute video these mothers made as well regarding the topic, click here. I really suggest checking them out, because both the photos and the video are very powerful.
The mommy wars do nothing but spread judgment, and because of that, it needs to end. Moms deserve respect and they deserve love, but as long as the mommy wars continue, they won't get them in full. Mothers do so much for their children. Every day they make sacrifices and decisions with their children in mind, only wanting the best for them. Because of this, regardless of the choices they make and whether they're agreed with or not, they deserve unending love and respect for the job they are tasked with every day, which they never ask or expect anything in return for.
As the women of the Connecticut Working Moms say, "Let's love more and judge less."
