In a world filled with hate, there are some of us who know nothing else but love. Tragically, in our world, such kind souls are misunderstood, because hate is so common. Why are we so quick to assume that there always has to be an ulterior motive in our actions? Why we are so quick to assume a nice girl is, in actuality, “fake af?" Why are we constantly hearing, “he was really nice, but too nice?" It is almost as if we wish people were dark instead of light. I suppose, in a world filled with hate, it is somewhat hard to find love.
Now, before I begin, I don’t want to make it seem like I’m putting myself on any form of pedestal. I’m just here to fight for all the misunderstood kind souls out there.
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For the most part, I don’t care what strangers think of me, especially because I do some pretty ballsy things that can be, unfortunately, misunderstood. I’m perfectly willing to risk my “image” if it means that I have a chance at helping someone. Whenever I’m in the CULC walking around and I see someone particularly distressed or discontented, I’ll go up to them and see what I can do. I love caring for strangers and have no problem approaching them. I just think about how I’d feel if a total stranger took time out of their busy life to help me out. On my dorm door, I hung up a sign welcoming people to knock if they needed to talk to someone or needed help with an issue. Now, you don’t have to tell me; I already know these actions are a bit out of the ordinary. The problem lies in the discourse of my actions. We view them as peculiar and are skeptical of them because of their rarity.
I understand that doing this might make me come off as weird, but like I said before, I do not care. I am not going to let anything get in the way of me helping others and changing the discourse of random acts of kindness. If they are capable of and willing to think negatively about me without really getting the chance to know me, then it is out of my control, and I don’t let it bother me.
But when it comes to the people who aren’t strangers to me, the ones that I have gotten to know and love dearly, I can’t stomach the thought of them hating me or thinking negatively about me. It’s not because I want to be popular or well-liked by everyone. While that might sound desirable, what I really dwell on is how I caused someone I care about to be mad at me, to dislike me, or even hate me when all I’ve had for them were good intentions. More importantly, how did I hurt them without knowing? Of course everyone makes mistakes which can cause conflict, and as we know, conflict can either be resolved or left to continue to tear people apart. We, as I should remind you, live in a world of hate and sometimes allow our conflicts tear us apart when they, ironically, should be bringing us together. I can’t live with tension where I know there should be happiness, and will do everything in my power to ameliorate it and make amends.
“Sensitive people are the most genuine and honest people you will ever meet. There is nothing they won’t tell you about themselves if they trust your kindness. However, the moment you betray them, reject them or devalue them, they become the worst type of person. Unfortunately, they end up hurting themselves in the long run. They don’t want to hurt other people. It is against their very nature. They want to make amends and undo the wrong they did. Their life is a wave of highs and lows. They live with guilt and constant pain over unresolved situations and misunderstandings. They are tortured souls that are not able to live with hatred or being hated. This type of person needs the most love anyone can give them because their soul has been constantly bruised by others. However, despite the tragedy of what they have to go through in life, they remain the most compassionate people worth knowing, and the ones that often become activists for the broken hearted, forgotten and the misunderstood. They are angels with broken wings that only fly when loved.” – Shannon L. Alder
Without having any negative intentions for anyone, it kills me when things go wrong between friends, family, etc., because I suddenly have to calculate where I hurt them when I had tried so hard not to. I can’t stand the fact that the people I kept close and gave my all to were hurt by me. I want nothing more than to make things right.
The real misunderstanding happens in situations when others choose to let the conflict tear us apart instead of resolving it. I can’t “live with hatred.” I can’t “live with guilt and constant pain.” Regardless of whether or not a person has cut me out of their life, I have no choice but to continue to care for them, worry about them, and want the best for them, because it is in my nature. I end up being misunderstood. I wish people knew that my desire to resolve is the impetus for my actions. It’s the reason why I won’t stop until I make things right. No, I’m not stubborn, I’m not crazy, and I’m not out to hurt. I don’t want to live in a world where we have to avoid people that “we used to know.” There is such profound beauty in resolution. Why is it so wrong for me to want to resolve conflict instead of letting it destroy us? We let ourselves simmer in the boiling water that we refuse to cool. We let ourselves perpetuate hatred. Why, just why, are we content with living in a world where we seek out hate instead of working a bit to find love?
A kind soul isn’t content with hatred. A kind soul is persistent in the way he/she loves. A kind soul wants nothing more than to resolve and not repel. A kind soul will give love to anyone and everyone. A kind soul offers random acts of kindness. A kind soul just wants to bring out the best in others. A kind soul wants a world full of love. A kind soul wants no enemies. A kind soul will perpetually fight for peace and happiness. A kind soul wants to be understood, but alas, a kind soul is misunderstood.
