Being in your twenties is a catch 22. It’s like watching a rollercoaster. There’s always tumultuous ups and downs. Or watching your favorite reality show. Like when Kandi pulls out the receipts on Porsha. You feel vindicated. You and Kandi have your “aaaah-haaa” moment, but then the episode ends, and you end up feeling hyped up for no reason. Or having a stomach virus. You hate throwing up and you feel like Cedric Diggory in the graveyard, aka death, but after the virus has run its course, you feel skinnier. Okay maybe that was a little extreme, but hopefully you catch my drift.

What I’m trying to get to here is being in your twenties is great and horrible all at once. You’re on your own. You feel unstoppable. Then you travel deeper in the maze of the twenties and you run into the infamous you’re-off-your-parents’-insurance dead end. Or you become unemployed. Or you go through a horrible break up. But great things happen, too. So below, I’ve created a soundtrack – a soundtrack of someone in their mid-twenties. Even if you can’t associate, at least you have a pretty good playlist, right?

1.“Closer” by Chainsmokers. Cue lyrics, “We ain’t never getting older.”

Ah, the early 20s. You rule the world. You are unstoppable. You will get that killer job. You will find that fairytale relationship. You will be famous. You can do whatever you put your mind to.

2.“Burnin it Down” by Jason Aldean. Cue lyrics, “I’m just doing my thang.”

This is the phase in which you’re trying to figure out life. You’ve aged a little. A couple years. You haven’t found a killer job, but you tell yourself, “You’re only 22, no one has their career at this age.” Your love life is great; either you feel like you’ve found the one or you’ve gone on some awesome dates, maybe. It wasn’t a fairytale love at first sight feeling, but you did score free Olive Garden from a date so that’s close to a fairytale, right?

3.“Still Fly” by Big Tymers. Cue lyrics, “Can’t pay my rent, cause all my money’s spent.”

Managing money. The hardest thing in your twenties; well for me at least. You want to “stunt.” Have name brand clothes. Have the best smelling perfume or cologne. Party at the best bars and clubs. Drink the Michelob Ultra instead of Natty Lite. You suck at it. I’ve been there. Just mere months ago I had to borrow money to pay my rent. I thought the Steve Madden pumps were more important. How wrong I was.

4.“Hot in Herre” by Nelly. Cue lyrics, “I think my butt’s getting big.”

Aging in your twenties is the worst. In college, you do whatever – eat whatever, sleep whenever, party whenever. Then you graduate and your body hits a wall – well mine did. It was like overnight. At 26 I noticed myself getting “thicker” if you will. And wrinkles on my forehead. I catch myself driving down the road pulling up on my hairline hoping to reverse the wrinkles that are etching their way into my face. I feel like a tree – instead of telling the age by the rings, you can tell the age of the woman by the wrinkles.

5.“Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus. Cue lyrics, “Too much pressure, and I’m nervous.”

Okay. What is happening? You’re now 25. You haven’t found yourself. You don’t have a husband. Or a wife. Or a boyfriend. Or a killer job. You just have Dorito crumbs in your car and leftover pizza in your fridge. You start to get nervous. You hardcore apply for jobs because you’re determined to get the job you want. Or you kick ass in your current job to earn a promotion. Social media is the worst. Everyone posts about their kid, or marriage, or love life, or job. And what do you have to show? A pair of sunglasses that you just bought at a gas station? I think not.

6.“Monster” by Rihanna. Cue lyrics, “Well that’s not fair.”

So, you kick your ass into high gear. It’s time to get serious about life. The career you want. The house you want to live in. The family you may want to start. Then… you get laid off. How does a 25-year-old get laid off? How does it happen to me? I have the best sales in the region, I have the best-looking store and my staff loves me? It doesn’t seem fair. You’ve tried your hardest and it doesn’t work out. Well, that’s not fair. Life’s tough… get a helmet.

7.“All of the Lights” by Kanye West. Cue lyrics, “Unemployment line, credit card declined.”

The layoff lull. I’ve mentioned it before. I ate rows of Oreo’s. Binge watched “The Walking Dead.” Cried to my mother. Applied for food stamps. Got approved for food stamps. Applied for unemployment. Got approved for unemployment. Shoved Oreo’s in my mouth.

8.“Let it Go” from "Frozen". Cue lyrics, “Let it go, let it gooooooo!”

Shit happens in life. It really seems to maximize in your twenties. For me, it’s so hard to let stuff go. Losing my job, I dwelt on that forever. People leaving my life, dwelt on it. Read “Gone Girl,” dwelt on it. Rewatched “Hardball,” and wept profusely over G-Baby’s death, dwelt on it.

9.“MMMbop” by Hanson. Cue lyrics, “Mmmbop, ba duba dop, ba du bop, ba duba dop.”

Like, literally, what were these guys singing? These lyrics come in during the confusion phase of the mid-twenties. When you’re confused and have no idea how many to claim on your W-4 to get the most money. Or confused about who to vote for? The Democratic Liar or the Republican Motor Mouth? Questions you find yourself asking: How many do I claim on my W-4 to get the most money? Is my dog a dependent, technically? Should I buy new brake pads or Arbor Mist from the gas station? I don’t really HAVE to have the brake pads NOW technically. Does my vote even matter?

10.“Both” by Drake. Cue lyrics, “Yeah the power of the mind is not a joke.”

By 26 and a half years old, doubt creeps in. Is it okay to still get wastey pants on a Thursday? Is it slutty if I make-out on the first date? Do 26-year-olds do that? My pledge class is essentially married and my biggest decision to make is, "Do I get chipotle ranch or jalapeno ranch on my chicken salad?" The mind really does play jokes on you.

11.“Irreplaceable” by Beyonce. Cue lyrics, “To the left, to the left.”

How could I forget the queen? This song comes to mind when I think about my love life. Dating in your mid-twenties is sometimes a blast. Sometimes a shit show. Sometimes it’s nothing. From someone who is actively dating, I wonder, should I be tied down by now? Should I be engaged? Married? Birthing children? How do I even meet people, because I don’t want to go to the bar alone? That’s where dating apps come in—Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid and all those other dating apps. Here’s where the shit show comes in. I see so many gym selfie takers, mass-murderer-looking strangers and the worst— entrepreneur listed as a job title. Like… do you not have a job? What are you doing? To me, entrepreneur screams, “I’m unemployed but this makes me sound fancy.” Don’t get me wrong, there are some real entrepreneurs out there, like the “Shark Tank” people. But…. I have my doubts.

Beyonce said it best, “To the left, to the left.” Unless he has a beard…

12.“Ironic” by Alanis Morissette. Cue lyrics, “Who would’ve thought, it figures.”

You match with this super cute guy or girl on your dating app. He or she is funny. Smart. Witty. Outgoing. Whatever else you’re looking for. You go on a date. You have a blast. Your mom google searches them. They have two mugshots. One for domestic violence. Isn’t it ironic? Or maybe that only happened to me.

13. “Tennis Court” by Lorde. Cue lyrics, “Because I’m doing this for the thrill of it, killin’ it; never not chasing a million things I want.”

Ok, so your love life sucks. But, you’ve finally found something you love career-wise. It’s not just a job. It’s not just an empty dream you’re chasing. At this point, you’re climbing the rollercoaster. You feel like you can obtain anything with the hard work you’ve put in.

14.“Drop the World” by Lil Wayne. Cue lyrics, “My head is swole, my confidence is up.”

Now you are rocking! Maybe you get noticed in grad school by a professor for your hard work. Maybe you land your first sale. Whatever it is, your confidence is boosted up and you feel like buying 3 pairs of gas-station sunglasses.

15.“All Star” by Smash Mouth. Cue lyrics, “Hey now, you’re an all-star, get your game on, go play; hey now, you’re a rock star, get the show on get paid; and all that glitters is gold.”

Just because we’re near the end of the album, doesn’t mean we’re near the end of the 20s. This is the phase where you’ve come to accept yourself hopefully. You are happy with different aspects of your life. And sure, not everything is perfect. For example, I’m happy with my career, happy with my tanning package and happy with the family and friends in my life. But I’m not happy about my lifestyle habits. I still haven’t fully mastered my panic episodes. I still cry and wonder why I don’t have things to show off on social media. But I still feel like a rock star most of the time. And you should, too.

16.“F*** Apologies” by JoJo. Cue lyrics, “F*** apologies; I woulda said sorry if I really meant it.”

Ahhhh. The finale. Pardon the language, but this song is my jam. It feels great when you have reached this level in your life. You’re not sorry for who you are, and you shouldn’t be. The worst time in my twenties was when I pretended to be someone I wasn’t. To pretend to be happy when I wasn’t. That makes you miserable. It made me miserable. I wanted to be in a relationship so bad at the time, that I lost who I was. Fun, loud, spontaneous, filterless, “Big Brother” obsessed Lisa wasn’t around. I wanted to fit into the mold that society pressures us to be in. My closest friends noticed a change. My mom noticed a change. My hands noticed a change—literally. Like my eczema was so flared up that I was embarrassed to shake anyone’s hand. I skipped days of work using bullshit excuses. That wasn’t me. And I’m not fully there by no means, but I’m almost back to Lisa. Embracing yourself is the best accomplishment you can make in your twenties. And if I can get there, you can, too.

Bonus track included:

17.“The Greatest” by Sia. Cue lyrics. “Don’t give up, I won’t give up; I’m free to be the greatest, I’m alive; I’m free to be the greatest here tonight."

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