One of the kindest and friendliest of the types, and yet, one of the coldest and most unsociable: the INFJ.
I thought of this idea for an article nearly a month ago, but it’s only come to recent fruition because, true to the INFJ type, I had no idea how the hell to explain what I wanted to say. My mind is a constant stream of contradictions. I yearn to be alone, but often feel lonely. I can be easy-going or a complete high-maintenance nightmare. I appreciate attention but would never dare ask for it. I love people but hate socializing. The only easy thing to understand is how difficult it is to understand the INFJ.
The one thing that's clear is that I'm a true-blue, 100%, first-class introvert. It's not that I don't like people, but it's also not that I don't not like people. Bizarre, I know. As a true introvert, time spent alone is of paramount importance. As with most introverts, our minds are psychotic wonderlands that can be pretty tricky to navigate. We need time to think it over, and being in loud places with many a loud person doesn't help us achieve that sense of stability. However, too much time alone to wander our minds can be toxic. That's when we need our people: close family and friends with whom we know we can have deep, intellectual conversations.
I know what you're thinking. "What a nerd!" Okay, I don't actually know what you're thinking. But I wonder.
As an INFJ, I am deeply concerned with other people. As a child, when I'd meet someone new, I would forego typical conversation starters such as “Hi, how are you?” for “My name is Devin, my birthday is October 31
The problem is that I'm wildly curious to see how different people see the world. Carl Jung, whose theories helped develop personality typology in the first place, was also a fellow INFJ. It's no wonder I'm obsessed.
It's also no wonder I've chosen to pursue a writing major because INFJs often find themselves pursuing careers that involve writing as an outlet for their constantly running and often stressful internal dialogue.
Most of my friends are extroverted types, which is fabulous because, without them, I'd be an antisocial recluse, going psycho from too much time spent alone with my thoughts. As I witness their carefree demeanors and confident sociality, I lay back on the sidelines, wishing I were more of an obvious people person. I can't be everything as much as I wish I could. A scary reality I find myself still coming to terms with.
Luckily, as we’re the rarest type, you’ll seldom find us creeps lurking around, wondering what your childhood was like and how it has affected the person you are today.
Complex, creative, inquisitive, imaginative, empathetic, emotional — the INFJ is a unique type that truly takes on this world in it's own original way. After all, "the soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone."
To find out your type so you can let me know so I can analyze your life and better empathize with your feelings, I highly recommend taking the Myers Briggs personality test.
