I've always hated the word "no." It was a blockade, a brick wall you couldn't cross. It was a veil that surrounded you from your accomplishments, your dreams, your goals.
"No, you can't do that."
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"No, that's not possible."
"No, that won't happen."
"No, you can't be that."
Think about it. When you're little and hear the word no, you immediately change it to a yes. Your parents tell you no, and you do it anyway. Then comes the question and curiosity, "Why not?"
It's not until we get older that the concept of no becomes more, so much more. I didn't realize that sometimes the word no is ignored, even when you enforce it. I didn't realize that "no" could make me also want to fight harder, depending on the concept.
"No" should be an easy thing to understand and comprehend. We've known it forever. For some of us, it may have even been our first word. I guess it's when people don't want to take no for an answer is when it becomes a bit fuzzy.
Sure, when someone says "No, you can't be a songwriter," the fighter within me screams, "Watch me." These are the situations where you should never let "no" stop you. Never let someone tell you that you can't follow your dreams.
It's times when someone tells you "no" as a boundary for protection where you need to listen.
I never thought I'd be that girl. Growing up, they tell you it won't happen to you. That when you say no to someone for any reason, that they'll listen and respect that. But I've learned that is 100 percent false.
Going to college, I always saw those posters or facts about how one in five women would be sexually assaulted in college. It's hard to understand, as a girl who has been taught that no as a boundary means no, and that some may not believe that or understand that at all.
For some, "no" is not a boundary. It never has been. I'm not sure why. I don't have the answer to that, but I wish I did. I wish I knew why some people do things to others even when they don't want it.
I'm thankful for the people that do understand it. Then when I say no, it's a no.
"No" can mean different things. It is used in so many concepts.
There are times where you want to say yes, but you say no because it isn't a good idea. Sure, you would've loved to have said yes...but that's not you. Let people be hungry for you. Be unavailable from time to time. If they truly want you, they will weeks from now, too.
Not just when they are drunk and are hungry right in that moment. You are you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying no to someone. I promise you. Just because others may let people do anything to them doesn't mean you have to too.
I wish I could tell people no more often. Truly. Maybe then, I'd have more time to focus on myself. Maybe, If I had said no so much more than maybe people would believe it.
Take "no" seriously, in whichever way it is said.
"No" is a boundary and an obstacle. Know the difference. There is no excuse.
