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The Masked Singers, Ranked From 'Serial Killer' To 'Care Bear'

Creepy? Or cute? Maybe both? Cannot decide.

Amanda Topolski

Feb 20, 2019

The University of Alabama

256

The Masked Singers, Ranked From 'Serial Killer' To 'Care Bear'

Fox

"The Masked Singer" is the latest singing competition show to hit the United States. At first, I thought it was a bit odd (well, to be honest, I still do). However, while listening to unidentified voices, all I can focus on are the costumes that they are in. Meant to resemble various animals, these costumes range from stuffed animal cute to secret killer of the night.

1. 'The Deer' is a serial killer prowling in the woods.

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The deer is something straight out of a horror movie. Like, think about camping in a cabin in the woods when *this* appears in the window.

2. 'The Raven' is basically the Grim Reaper.

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The raven is death. If you see him, run.

3. 'The Rabbit' is straight from a grungy heavy-metal band.

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The rabbit is straight out of an early-2000s grungy heavy-metal band. The band would be called "Ravenous Rabbit Death."

4. 'The Lion' is a gaudy casino ornament.

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The lion is something you would see walking the strip in Las Vegas. Could definitely scare a small child, or a drunk adult.

5. 'The Bee' is literally a queen.

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The bee slays me, but, like, in a creepy way. Yeah.

6. 'The Peacock' is literally straight out of a zoo.

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The peacock is majestic, but birds can be creepy. Also, he looks ready to fight someone for his lady peacock.

7. 'The Unicorn' is the future best friend of Olaf.

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The unicorn is straight out of "Frozen III." Maybe best friends with Olaf?

8. 'The Poodle' is straight out of 'Rupaul's Drag Race' season 12.

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The poodle is, without a doubt, a fierce drag queen. Rated PG-13 because #Scandalous #Sexii.

9. 'The Alien' is from a hip sci-fi movie.

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The alien clearly has some hip dance moves. Fricky fricky fresh #Word.

10. 'The Pineapple' is a sexier version of the Kool-Aid man.

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The pineapple definitely would have a surfer voice. Maybe he will be on "The Bachelor" in the future instead of "The Masked Singer."

11. 'The Hippo' is a cuddly hipster that should be on Disney Channel.

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The hippo looks like something from a hip-new Disney Channel television show aimed for ages 4 to 7. New episodes air Sunday at 11 a.m. EST.

12. 'The Monster' is a "Care Bears"/"Monster's Inc." combination.

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Imagine making "Monster's Inc." even more kid-oriented than the original G-rated movie. 11/10 would cuddle every day.

Again, I must ask — Creepy? Or cute? Maybe both? Cannot decide.

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May the odds be ever in your favor.

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The Masked Singers, Ranked From 'Serial Killer' To 'Care Bear'

Creepy? Or cute? Maybe both? Cannot decide.

1. 'The Deer' is a serial killer prowling in the woods.

2. 'The Raven' is basically the Grim Reaper.

3. 'The Rabbit' is straight from a grungy heavy-metal band.

4. 'The Lion' is a gaudy casino ornament.

5. 'The Bee' is literally a queen.

6. 'The Peacock' is literally straight out of a zoo.

7. 'The Unicorn' is the future best friend of Olaf.

8. 'The Poodle' is straight out of 'Rupaul's Drag Race' season 12.

9. 'The Alien' is from a hip sci-fi movie.

10. 'The Pineapple' is a sexier version of the Kool-Aid man.

11. 'The Hippo' is a cuddly hipster that should be on Disney Channel.

12. 'The Monster' is a "Care Bears"/"Monster's Inc." combination.

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May the odds be ever in your favor.

Phase One: The “I got this” phase

Phase Two: The “I have time” phase

Phase Three: The uncontrollable sobbing phase

Phase Four: The “help me, I've fallen and I can't get up” phase

Phase Five: The rejoicing phase

10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

Who knows where we would be without them.

1. Thank you for laughing at my jokes, even when they really aren’t funny.

2. Thank you for singing unbearably loud with me all the time.

3. Thank you for letting me vent to you for hours about anything and basically being my personal therapist.

4. Thank you for ordering pizza with me at 2 in the morning.

5. Thank you for all the movie days when we don’t feel like moving.

6. Thank you for being my workout buddy everyday.

7. Thank you for sharing your closets with me.

8. Thank you for taking naps with me at random hours during the day.

9. Thank you for cleaning our home with me when we absolutely need to.

10. Thank you for all the rides when it’s late and you don’t want me to walk home alone in the dark.

11. Thank you for studying with me in our kitchen when we didn't want to go the library.

12. Thank you for making dinner with me.

13. Thank you for helping with my hair, makeup and outfit every time we go out.

14. Thank you for taking countless ugly pictures with me.

15. Thank you for not judging me when I go too long without showering.

16. Thank you for making our apartment feel like a second home.

17. Thank you for being there through all of our boy troubles.

18. Thank you for giving me a hug when I feel homesick.

19. Thank you for getting excited with me when one of us gets a good grade on an exam.

20. Thank you for still being my friend and not judging me when I say or do dumb things.

21. Thank you for telling me what I should do when I am sick.

22. Thank you for dancing horribly with me everywhere we go.

23. Thank you for staying up super late with me when we aren’t tired or can’t sleep.

24. Thank you for being super weird with me.

25. Thank you for all the unforgettable college memories.

26. And most of all, thank you for being the best friends a girl could have.

I may or may not be stressing right now.

1. "What do I have to study for?"

2. "What class do I need to study for the most?"

3. "I’m going to ace this."

4. "Focus!"

5."I have no idea what I'm reading."

6. "I should call my smart friend about this."

7. "I’m going to fail. I’m going to fail."

8. "I’m dropping out of school."

9. "What grade do I have to get on the final to pass the class?"

10. "Oh, no, I have to do good."

11. "I shouldn’t have procrastinated all semester."

12. "I wanna go to bed."

13. "We did not learn this!"

14. "I should go get food."

15. "Why do we even have finals?"

16. "I don’t want to be at the library."

17. "Get off your phone."

18. "I can watch Netflix for like 20 minutes and then go back to studying."

19. "I shouldn’t have watched Netflix."

20. "You have to study now!"

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

Remember you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine. — Snow White

The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it. — Rafiki

You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold and daring. — Lumière

If watching is all you're gonna do, then you're gonna watch your life go by without ya. — Laverne

Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one. — Grandmother Willow

Always let your conscience be your guide. — Jiminy Cricket

To infinity and beyond. — Buzz Lightyear

Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved. — Pooh

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