The Many Stages Of A Hangover As Told By 'Spongebob'
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The Many Stages Of A Hangover As Told By 'Spongebob'

The Sunday morning struggle.

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The Many Stages Of A Hangover As Told By 'Spongebob'

You think going out for a night of drinking is nothing but fun, friends and drunk food. Unfortunately, many of us are woken the next morning by an unwanted feeling – the dreaded hangover. You toss and turn in an effort to force yourself back to sleep, but to no avail. You’re up and ridden with the lasting feelings of nausea and regret.

So it begins – the initial wake-up and the ever-present question of, ‘What happened last night?" Your heart begins to race, your mind is scrambling and for a brief few moments, you are unaware of the awful hangover that is quickly approaching.

Next, the panic-stricken search for your phone ensues. Phew! It’s just on the floor. Face down. Dead. After a brief wish for it not to be broken in a million pieces, you pick it up. You’re in the clear. You plug it in hoping to find something that will help you piece your night back together. Yes, it’s on! OK, I have to call Gabby. I think I was with her and she’s responsible. She’ll remember what happened. OK, maybe she doesn’t.

What is this feeling? Oh. My. Holy. I. Need. Water. So begins the agonizing trip to the kitchen for the most refreshing glass of water you think you’ll ever drink. You meander back to your room thinking you’ll be able to get some more sleep. Silly you.

On the bright side, you find out you didn’t embarrass yourself too badly. I mean, falling off a bar stool isn’t the epitome of appropriate behavior, but it sure beats the hell out of what you did last weekend. I know. I know. We promised we wouldn’t talk about it.

In an instant you seemingly can’t lift your head from the pillow, for fear of your head exploding. Forgetting last weekend’s hangover, you do the most rational thing you can think of. You text your friends to let them know you are experiencing the worst headache of your life.

In an effort to lull your nauseous stomach, you muster all the strength you can, and venture out for some air. I mean, you’re going to get food, but you need the air.

For some reason your coordination is just off. Maybe you’re still drunk, you tell yourself. There is no way; you’re too hungover to be drunk. But damn, I’m bumping into everything.

Your iced coffee just isn’t right. Doesn’t the barista know how much you needed it? The line to get a bagel is just so long. You feel like crap and your day is terrible. You immediately regret ever leaving your bed.

This day is off to a rough start. Maybe if I lay down, you think to yourself, I’ll feel better. Why is the sun so bright in my window? Pulling the covers over your eyes and letting out a deep sign, you fall asleep for a quick nap.

Two hours later. You wake up and wipe the drool off your cheek and regret ever having gotten back into bed. Somehow, you feel ever worse than before. Maybe if I shower and get ready, I’ll feel better.

The insatiable hangover hunger strikes again and you just need to eat.

You’ve consumed the necessary 2,000 calories of fried food to cure the worst of hangovers. After dipping your last fry in far too much ketchup, your friends ask if you want to go out again.

Mid-chew, you pause, thinking about the decision you are about to make. After a brief moment of hesitation, you’re ready to give the final verdict.

Yes, of course we’re going out tonight.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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