In my early twenties, I became extremely jaded.
I had been through a few bad relationships that ended with me feeling like an idiot, and I was done. I had decided that I was done trying, I was done with relationships, I was done with men. I had fully accepted that I would live the life of a fiercely independent woman, and I would still get everything I ever wanted, I just would leave out the whole idea of a man in my life. Easy peasy, the guy had never been the whole dream anyways, right? I was set, I had a plan, I had made my choice.
That whole plan went to shit when this guy showed up in my life. It was simple enough, we had met in college, when I was in one of my ridiculous relationships, and he was this older guy "sniffing around" as my mother had put it. We had never dated, never kissed, never really ever even hung out, but for some reason, he randomly emailed me to see how I was doing. We exchanged emails for a while, getting more and more personal as they went on. We went from talking once every few days to multiple times a day, to finally talking on the phone basically nonstop - that's when things started to get intense. Even though he lived 1200 miles away from me, we had heat, we had chemistry, and I had a problem.
What happened to my fierce independence? What happened to my single life plans and my decision to do it all without a man? What about my promise to myself that I wouldn't get hurt again? Well, folks, all of those notions went out the friggin window, that's what happened.
This guy, this amazing, smart, gorgeous guy wanted me, even with all of my (excessive) baggage. I'm not going to lie, after being in that jaded space for a while, I questioned him. I tested him. A lot. I went over every scenario in my head so many times, I ultimately played out a Days of Our Lives super finale in my head of all of the worst possible outcomes and came up with one decision. Ok, two decisions: 1. I was crazy, and 2. I was going to do it.
I fell hard for this guy. He was literally everything I had ever wanted in a partner. He supported me, he would do anything for me, and he hand-to-God LOVED me with every fiber of his being. He loved me on the days I was a total bitch, he loved me on the days I was an airhead, he loved me on the days I was really super bloated. The guy loved me, that couldn't be denied.
I am pleased to tell you I have been married to the man of my dreams for 3 years. We have 2 beautiful children, a happy marriage, and lots of plans for our future together. Do we fight? Absolutely. Do we have days where we just don't get along? You bet. Do I ever want to kill him and collect the insurance money? Of course! (Kidding!) but all that matters is that at the end of the day I wouldn't want anyone else but him.
To you, my amazing husband, thank you for being the man you are, the man I love more than anything in this world. I love our life, our home, our children, everything we have built together. You are my rock and you have my whole heart forever. I love you.
