The thing about being lonely is that sometimes it hits you out of nowhere

You don't even realize until your in a room full of people but all you do is blankly stare

Your mind is in a whole other world, far from the laughter and conversation

So many thoughts on your mind, but you wouldn't dare to say it

No, no never because once one word is uttered all the rest will come tumbling out like a mistake you never meant to make

From your lips to their ears, you're just rambling on and on but for you it's like a prescription pill you forgot to take

Letting these harbored emotions out is therapeutic for you

You're digging deep and realizing things you never knew

But of course this is all in your head

The things you want to say but instead go unsaid

Uncovering your wounds to those you care about it is something you want to do

But it goes unsaid that once you do, they'll see the real you

They'll discover that the shimmer in your eyes, the laughter, your smile was nothing but a disguise

A coy distraction from what was real because you no longer wanted to feel

You no longer wanted to give your all to someone just to have it all crumble and fall

You didn't want to get a taste of happiness anymore, just for it to be taken from you, for it to be another closed door

But really and truly you didn't want to feel the nagging pull of pain at your heart strings

And despite your best efforts, you couldn't do a thing

So why try? Why live a life in truth when it's easier to live in a lie?

When it's easier to say I'm fine when really all that is is a deny

When listening to others vent is easier too because it prevents you from saying what you really want to

Because, see, when you listen there's no need to mention your minds true intentions

That you don't mind listening and pretending your fine, if it means they'll be alright

But sometimes you just wish someone would ask "how are you" and when they see your smile followed by a that's fine, they'll know it's a lie

Your mask will no longer work because when they look in your eyes they'll see the depth of your hurt

And that's all you wanted, was to be considered and know that your feelings mattered

Because bottling up your emotions night after night will only last so long before the glass breaks and the truth is brought to light