I know. I know how it feels to just have yourself to talk to. I know how it feels to stay in your room all day long because everyone else is busy with their lives. I know how it feels to just cry in pain because you're so sad. I know how it feels to be pushed away by your family. I know how it feels to to be lonely. You try harder than everyone else to be accepted, because to be honest, you need a friend more than the rest of them.
Just one person would be nice - just so you had someone to talk to. But instead of being accepted, you get pushed farther away. When you get pushed away so many times - you quit trying, and when you quit trying you lose all communication skills. Once all of that has happened, you become that weird and awkward person that no one wants to be around. People just start looking at you wondering how you became like this. You became that person you never wanted to be; the one that walks around with your hands in your pockets, headphones in, mumbling a song to yourself.
You want friends so bad you get to the point to where you practice conversations in your head with someone you see because you don't want to seem socially challenged. You want people to like you so much that you start to change your interests and beliefs - just so you don't seem so different. But they still look at you weird. You get paranoid that if they even look at you that they're talking talking about you. Chances are they could be, but most of the time they're talking about something else. Try again. Keep trying to talk to people because honestly you will find a few friends if you keep trying.
Yes, I know, you're sad and scared, but if you don't try - you're going to end up sad, scared, and lonely. If you don't try you won't be able to talk to people, and then you won't be able to go through with job interviews. if you can't talk to people for a job, then you really will be alone - living with your parents in the back corner bedroom - right where you started. See, I know. I know where you are, and I know where you've been. Keep your head up; keep trying. I know how people can hurt people, but I also know that people change people. Don't allow your heart to ache forever. The world is a scary, sad, dark, and lonely place - DON'T let it consume you.
