A personal account of the struggles to live with a fear of heights. | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Student Life

The Limitations and Frustrations of Having A Fear of Heights

The struggles of living with an unconquerable fear.

71
Sky scrapers

I blame genetics for my fear of heights. Not necessarily because I have scientific evidence of that, but because I have no memory of a poignant event or traumatizing moment that initiated this fear. Certainly, if I did, I would remember. After all, I do remember a number of instances throughout my life in which this fear was actualized.

The most recent of these memories took place in my college apartment, about three months ago. Spring semester had ended, and once again, it was time to pack up my things and move out of that year's apartment. In the process of cleaning my room and collecting my belongings, I decided to clean the filters in my vacuum. Not wanting to make the short, but tedious trip downstairs, I opened one of the apartment windows and beat the filters against the side of the building. Everything was fine until I heard the slam of a car door and looked down into the parking lot. The height of all three stories hit me at once. A dizzying sensation flooded my head, my limbs tingled weightlessly and my breath was taken hostage by my lungs. I dazedly leaned back into my apartment with a dirty vacuum filter in hand and shut the window.

This strange and debilitating sensation is one I'm all too familiar with. Just thinking about it now— as I'm sitting in my ground-floor room typing—makes me a little nauseous. It's insane that a fear of something that's not even present has such a significant effect on me. What makes it worse is the fact that I can't just magically overcome this fear by facing it. Trust me, I've tried. On numerous occasions, I've nervously boarded a rollercoaster or stepped to the edge of a high balcony in an attempt to possibly acclimate myself to heights.

Unsplash- Apartment Building

In one such instance, I agreed to join a small group of friends and family on a helium balloon ride. Unlike conventional hot air balloons, this one was anchored to the ground by a thick steel cable. The presence of this anchor inspired a false sense of confidence in me which soon dissipated as we climbed higher and higher into the sky. Soon, we were hovering 400 feet in the air. As the attendant located points of interest, he encouraged our party to walk around the balloon's base and take in the full view of the landscape below. As the rest of my party shuffled about the balloon's base, I curled up against its side, clinging to the safety rail for dear life. I don't recall how long we stayed up in the air, but I remember seeing the ground through the steel-grated floor of the base. At the time, I couldn't help but wonder if we would ever touch the ground again. It seemed impossibly far away, so much so that when we finally landed I felt like I was stepping into a dream.

Possibly the most difficult part of living with a fear of heights is trying to explain it to others. Acknowledging that my fear is irrational, but having no power to do anything about it is frustrating and confusing even for me. So, I get why people who don't have this fear find it hard to understand. What I have more trouble with is the fact that some people can't or don't even try to sympathize with my fear of heights. And, when I say sympathize, I'm not asking for people to step in my shoes so much as respect my personal limits.

At the end of the day, everyone is afraid of something. And regardless of whether those fears are rational or irrational, they're significant to the people who bear them. Therefore, moving forward, we should all try to be more respectful of people's personal fears and limits.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
ross geller
YouTube

As college students, we are all familiar with the horror show that is course registration week. Whether you are an incoming freshman or selecting classes for your last semester, I am certain that you can relate to how traumatic this can be.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

Bonus points if it is more than two.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

12 Things I Learned my Freshmen Year of College

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

4549
friends

Whether you're commuting or dorming, your first year of college is a huge adjustment. The transition from living with parents to being on my own was an experience I couldn't have even imagined- both a good and a bad thing. Here's a personal archive of a few of the things I learned after going away for the first time.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Economic Benefits of Higher Wages

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

303221
Illistrated image of people crowded with banners to support a cause
StableDiffusion

Raising the minimum wage to a livable wage would not only benefit workers and their families, it would also have positive impacts on the economy and society. Studies have shown that by increasing the minimum wage, poverty and inequality can be reduced by enabling workers to meet their basic needs and reducing income disparities.

I come from a low-income family. A family, like many others in the United States, which has lived paycheck to paycheck. My family and other families in my community have been trying to make ends meet by living on the minimum wage. We are proof that it doesn't work.

Keep Reading...Show less
blank paper
Allena Tapia

As an English Major in college, I have a lot of writing and especially creative writing pieces that I work on throughout the semester and sometimes, I'll find it hard to get the motivation to type a few pages and the thought process that goes behind it. These are eleven thoughts that I have as a writer while writing my stories.

Keep Reading...Show less
April Ludgate

Every college student knows and understands the struggle of forcing themselves to continue to care about school. Between the piles of homework, the hours of studying and the painfully long lectures, the desire to dropout is something that is constantly weighing on each and every one of us, but the glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel helps to keep us motivated. While we are somehow managing to stay enrolled and (semi) alert, that does not mean that our inner-demons aren't telling us otherwise, and who is better to explain inner-demons than the beloved April Ludgate herself? Because of her dark-spirit and lack of filter, April has successfully been able to describe the emotional roller-coaster that is college on at least 13 different occasions and here they are.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments