Picture this: You are hungry. You go to get a plate out of the cabinet and realize your only plate that is clean is on the…top shelf. Cue dramatic music. You feel sweat rolling down your face and panic settling in. You are hoping you are going to wake up from this horrible nightmare, but you know that won’t happen because this is not a dream. This is your life. If you are living a life like myself, it might go a little something like this.
1. You can’t reach anything, and I mean anything.
Oh, it’s on the top shelf? Never mind, I will just starve.
2. You have a stool used just to reach things that are high up.
And what happens when you use it so much that it breaks, leaving you stranded many of miles away from the top shelf?
3. You might get asked the question, “Are you even old enough to be in college?”
4. Or, you might also get asked, “Did you get a scholarship to come to college because you’re so short?”
Do you think I’m lying when I say I’m drowning in student loans if I got a scholarship to come here?
5. Someone, at one point, has not seen you and has accidentally stepped on you.
Elevators are our worst nightmare. I’m not an ant, how did you not see me when you cornered me and stepped on my foot?
6. Short jeans are just not short enough.
“Do you have extra extra short jeans in the back anywhere?”
7. You've met someone who complains about being short, and they are a good five inches taller than you.
8. Your friends never ask to borrow your clothes.
They know not to even bother. Your sweatshirt sleeves are quarter sleeves on them.
9. Walking with people is a workout.
Walking is the wrong verb to use. Running is more like it. Their normal walking pace is speed walking for you. Sorry our legs are so short.
10. Public places are your worst nightmare.
Good luck finding me in a crowd, whether this place is a mall, grocery store or any public place that consists of people and high shelves.
11. On the floor concert seats aren’t even an option.
Once you get into the floor seating crowd, you never come back out. You will either get pushed down or elbowed in the face (since their elbows more than likely come up to your eyes if you are my size). And unless I want to stare at the back of someone’s head the entire time, I’ll pass.
12. Group pictures are a little more dysfunctional to take than you would think.
“OK, put the short one in the front. She still can’t see? OK, just go get out of this. We will bring you in the next one maybe.”
13. You have been asked, “How’s the weather down there?”
Just the same as it is five inches above me. Thanks for asking.
But, there are some pros to being short.
14. You never have to worry about dating someone shorter than you.
You always get to be the small spoon, which is super cool.
15. You get away with doing things only tall people can do.
Guess who gets out of hanging up the Christmas lights again this year?
16. Your dresses and shorts were always fingertip length in high school.
Don’t even ask if my shorts are long enough. They’ll always be long enough.
17. You were (and still are) awesome at playing hide and seek.
You can hide just about anywhere when you’re short. Under desks, in closets, clothing racks at the store, you name it!
18. You can get away with not being called on in class by hiding behind the person in front of you.
If you don’t believe this can actually happen, start believing. I once was almost counted absent because the teacher didn’t see me. Who am I kidding? This didn’t happen just once.
19. When you’re older, you’ll always look younger.
We may hate it now, but we will thank our short genes later.
So, to all the people out there who are short like me and can relate to these problems, you aren’t alone. Although some step on us occasionally and can never find us in shopping malls, we are one of a kind.
