What’s the one word you say the most in life?

Some of you might say “like,” others of you might sincerely state “bruh,” and you clever people will nonchalantly shrug as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world and say “at” or “the.”

While I do indeed probably use articles more than any other word in my daily speech, I would state the word I say most in life is “what.” And it’s not just any “what.” It’s “what?” or “WHAT?” or “Wait, what the hell did you just say?”

For a hearing impaired guy, “what” is my lexicographical best friend. It comes with me in restaurants, class, hanging with friends, and the hour-long-but-was-supposed-to-be-only-15-minute calls with my mom. Cause the thing is, I have a mild-to-moderate severe hearing loss that I don’t really consider to be a serious physical impairment as much as a mild-to-moderately severe pain in the ass.

For example, take restaurants. Let’s do fast-food restaurants. Normally, if you order something and the person behind the microphone offers an additional option, you will most likely hear it and accurately decide whether or not you want whatever was offered. I, on the other hand, can barely make out whatever bored, lazy voice (or unusually perky and excited, the voices vary in the extremes) is trying to say. So, in order to avoid holding up the lines of cars, I just immediately say yes to whatever the person offers me. You can imagine my horror when pickles end up on my burgers or mayonnaise is spread across my fries.

Another situation many people don’t consider and may hearing impaired kids won’t openly admit is that a hearing loss takes a pretty significant blow in the bedroom. Many of us hearing disabled kids can’t understand whispers, even clear, pointed ones uttered in the library for example. To accommodate, I often ask the person to repeat what they said, but in a firmer and elevated voice. So. Back to the bedroom. When I’m getting intimate with a girl and she begins to whispers her desires, commands to move position, or whatever it may be, I flat out cannot understand what she is trying to say. As a result, the whole momentum is halted repeatedly, and I constantly have to embarrassingly remind the girl that I can’t hear well and to repeat whatever seductive, only-works-in-whisper-format statement she made in a louder voice. My disability doesn’t necessarily take away from the entire experience, but it does create some serious inconveniences that have made me no stranger to blushing.

Alas, the life of a hearing-impaired dude is one filled with hilarious but annoying inconveniences, but as long as I wear the little buggers (hearing aids), I do alright here and there.