When people say things about their friends like, “She’s like my sister,” or “He’s like a brother to me,” they’re talking about how one person in their life is so incredibly close to them and they feel they are more than just your average friends. I’m sure a lot of people can buy into that sort of thing but one thing I do know is that nobody will ever know the extent to how close you can be with a person unless you are a twin.
Everyone has friends that they consider to be like family members because family members are considered to be some of the closest people to us in our lives. But when you actually do have a family member who is also a friend, and is the exact same age as you, things get a little too interesting. It’s the only life I know, and although growing up with different mentalities at times on the subject, it’s the only life I would ever choose: the life of having a twin.
Common misconceptions.
Let me start you off with some misconceptions about twins that I should probably clear up because it seems as though the world believes twins are these rare and exotic beings who can do things other people can’t. Just to be clear -- we aren’t. Believe it or not, we are just like you! Interesting concept, right? Of course, I’m joking, but you wouldn’t believe the absurd questions I’ve been asked about being a twin. First off -- no, we cannot feel each other’s pain. People have come up to me and asked me before, If I hit you will your sister feel it? Do you know what each other is thinking? Um, no. We are not super humans who can feel pain and read minds. That’s when I just look at people and think this:
People also think because you are a twin you are either polar opposites or exactly the same. This is definitely not the case either. Although we may have similar interests and from living with one another have experienced and been in the same situations for 20 years, twins are never exactly the same, just as no person is the same as another. I also don’t think twins can ever really be polar opposites, either, because you have the same DNA. So, something has to be the same there.
Acting around them vs. other people.
Sure, friends act crazy around one another and will say that they feel 100 percent comfortable with one another and can say just about anything. I do believe that is true, but if you have a twin you will understand that this concept is raised to a whole new level. When you have a twin you absolutely, no doubt about it, have no filter around each other. You never hesitate to be almost unhealthfully honest and, literally, anything can and will come out of your mouth when speaking to one another.
Normal conversations are almost non-existent, even if it seems like it's headed in that direction, it will always be ruined by some weird comment, sound effect, or spontaneous thought. Conversations can solely consist of movie quotes, inside jokes, or just a simple look to know what the other is getting at. I’m convinced if someone secretly videotaped conversations between twins it could be a TV show. Being a twin, you are way too comfortable with one another in a way that even the greatest friends couldn’t understand.
Built-in companion.
So when I was born, I was actually handed another individual to be friends with. However, you can either accept this gift or not. Let me tell you, if you are a twin I’m begging you that you have to love this person and get along with them or your entire life will be annoying and miserable. You can make it a fun thing, which is obviously what my sister and I do. Because you are also family members, you always have a friend available and the “remember that time” conversations are neverending because you have someone there to reminisce with you since you have lived with one another your whole lives.
You know when you’re trying to get your friends together to hang out or go out somewhere? Sometimes it doesn’t work out, but with a twin you have someone to go anywhere and everywhere with you at any time. Sure, hanging out with your friends with your twin can be the most fun ever, but knowing you will never not have someone to do something with makes life so easy.
As a companion, we will also send each other the most hilarious and insane things that only we understand or will appreciate. Whether it’s a funny picture, quote, story, or text message when we are away from each other, we know that if one person will laugh and appreciate what we have to say, it’s going to be each other.
Yes -- there are difficulties. too.
As Josh says in “Drake and Josh,” having a twin is not always “a walk through a spring meadow.” Usually it isn’t until you get to high school or maybe college before you really begin to realize just how great being a twin really is. Before then and as a child (being the complainers all children are), you become an expert on discovering the difficulties of being a twin. Individuality and identity are huge things you deal with. People often treat you as a group rather than two individual people, which never made sense to me. Although we may be similar in our likes and interests, we have different personalities on certain levels and even different styles. But that’s how you find your friends. You find people who you love and have things in common with that treat you like two separate friends.
Sharing -- the number one rule for twins, it seems. Your whole life you learn to share everything -- at least that’s the way I grew up. We grew up sharing a bedroom, toys, a car, and everything in between. To be totally honest, it sucks. It was really annoying growing up, but you know you learn to deal with it and accept it as being a normal part of life. When I got to college and everyone was talking about how different it was to have to share a room with another person, I just sat there like, “This will be a breeze -- I’ve done it since I was in my cradle.” So, maybe there is an up side to that.
Through it all though, this is why I’m grateful for her.
I’m sure as a twin, a lot of people are grateful for them for different reasons. Some may be the same and some may be unique to each set of twins you meet. Here’s what I’m grateful for. I’m grateful to have someone with me in the car who is going to sing only songs we still listen to together. Who else is going to blast “Do You Remember” by The Summer Obsession and Zebrahead with me, and belt out every note like nobody is watching or judging (even though the cars next to us definitely are)?
I’m thankful to have someone who is going to listen to all the pointless, serious, or weird things I say at any given time and someone to laugh with every minute of the day about things that aren’t even funny. Someone who is the only person who has seen me cry, happy or sad, whether it’s about life or just watching movies. My buddy who is going to walk into Southpaw with me and not care that we are sitting among 20 to 30 young and middle-aged men. Little things like that. But most importantly, I’m grateful to have a twin who is going to be by my side through everything to come, not even emotionally; literally because you can’t leave - after all, we’re biologically family.
Joking aside, I’m thankful to have a person like this and anyone who has a twin they are close to would definitely agree with me.
