Both of my biological parents are deaf. My father was congenitally deaf while my mother became deaf, at the age of two, after repeated episodes of Otitis Media, a type of middle ear infection. Having deaf parents makes me a CODA- the child of (a) deaf adult(s). Being a CODA, especially when only one person in your family is deaf, is really hard. I grew up in two different worlds. Deaf culture is a world all its own, a different language, different customs, different rules. On the one hand, I lived a “normal” life with my grandparents who later adopted me. On the other hand, when I stayed with my mom, I was completely immersed in the deaf world; the only hearing person around was my younger sister. All of my mom’s friends and their children, with the exception of one or two, were deaf. My mom’s significant others, until her most recent husband, were all deaf, too; with the exception of one boyfriend. I was bounced back and forth, and it taught me a lot things: tolerance, acceptance and patience to name just a few. So, I’d like to drop a knowledge bomb on you guys about deaf culture.
One, deaf people are perfectly normal. They aren’t deformed, handicapped or otherwise unusual. They’re regular human beings just like you and me; except they don’t hear well, or at all, depending upon the severity of their hearing loss. Also, you shouldn’t judge deaf people based upon what kind of hearing assistive technology they use or don’t use. It’s a very personal decision to decide to use hearing aids or cochlear implants. It’s not only personal because it’s a medical decision, it’s also private because of the monetary aspect. You wouldn’t ask someone their bra size or how much money they make in a year, so why would you ask someone why they didn’t get cochlear implants instead of hearing aids?
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Another misconception is that deaf people are lazy and don’t feel the need to communicate with hearing individuals, and nothing could be further from the truth. I know a lot of amazingly hard-working deaf individuals who go above and beyond to meet their family’s needs and wants. I also don’t understand why there’s not more cross-over between the deaf and hearing worlds as far as communication goes. I know many wonderful, out-going, friendly deaf people who would love the chance to get to know more hearing people; they just don’t know how. American Sign Language is a great tool, but it’s not the only means of communication between deaf people with each other, or with hearing people. With so many text/instant messaging apps, there’s no excuse for the breakdown of communication that occurs between the deaf and hearing worlds.
The worst misconception of all, however, is that deaf people are dumb and mute. That stereotype is cruel and based in hate and bigotry. I know many exceedingly smart individuals, and some of them happen to be deaf. I’ve met several intelligent and multi-talented deaf people right here on this very campus. Heck, my biological mom graduated one of the top of her class and got a scholarship to one of the top photography schools in Rochester, NY. As far as the mute aspect goes, some deaf people don’t have access to speech therapy. Some don’t have the desire to get speech therapy, some don’t even have the desire to use hearing assistive technology. Once again, that’s a personal decision for someone to make- and it’s simply no one else’s business. As my momma, the adopted one, that is, would say, “If it’s not your circus, it’s not your monkeys; so don’t ask about the bananas.”
I’m thankful to have had the experiences I had growing up. It’s made me a much more understanding and well-rounded person to have grown up in the deaf and hearing worlds. I wish more people could have the privilege of feeling at home in multiple cultures. I hope this article has shed some light on the deaf world/culture; and also that it’s kicked those nasty misconceptions in the face. So, go out into the world smarter, brighter, better, and ready to meet deaf people. They’re all-around you and they’re fascinating people with warm hearts and friendly smiles. I promise, it will make your life richer to get to know a deaf person.
