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The Life Of An Avid Snacker

It happened by snaccident.

Kailey Anne Murphy

Sep 22, 2016

Idaho State University

I love food. I really do. But when it comes to meals, I don’t eat very much in one sitting. I’ve never been one for big breakfasts, fancy lunches or large dinners with multiple courses. My breakfast is satisfying if it's a cup of coffee and maybe a yogurt if I’m feeling extra hungry. And this cycle continues every hour or 2 where I feel the need to eat. People think I’m weird but I know there have to be other people out there that spend their days snacking...am I right? Well, here’s some thoughts I have as an avid snacker.

6 a.m. Where’s the coffee? I can’t even think about food before I smell the coffee brewing.

6:45 a.m. chug said cup of coffee and make another cup to go.

7 a.m. *running out the door - okay kinda hungry, I’ll grab that muffin.

8 a.m. hmm I could go for a yogurt now that I’m settled at work.

This counts as a full breakfast now.

Lol, jk. I’ll be ready for some more carbs in a sec.

10:30 a.m I need a granola bar.

Yep, there’s what’s considered a decent breakfast over the course of a few hours.

12 p.m. Lunchtime? OMG. I’m starved. Where’s my sandwich?

But how am I so hungry? I feel like all I’ve done is eat this morning.

1:30 p.m. *Sitting in class minding my own business when my stomach makes the sound of a dying whale*.

Buy why? This makes no sense. It’s like I’m a bottomless pit.

3 p.m. Work time-snack-time...What's in the snack drawer?

Ohh goldfish, pretzels, cookies, popcorn. We should really invest in some fruits.

One time we made a pan of Rice Krispie treats just for a homework snack.

7 p.m. And then what did I have for dinner? Some sushi from Fred Meyer and more rice crispy treats.

Wash it down with wine and it’s a well-balanced meal.

11:30 p.m. A bowl of cereal sounds nice…

My tummy is tellin' me yes, but my mind is tellin' me no…Probably going to eat it, though.

It may be weird but I don’t think there is anything wrong with snacking all day long instead of neat concise meals at specific times during the day. While my snack choices could be better, I’m not concerned right now about it. Because what can I say? 12 little meals is waaay better than 3 big ones.

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The Life Of An Avid Snacker

It happened by snaccident.

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Sleepovers are not a thing. They're just not.

1. You only ask things once.

2. Seriously, you only ask once.

3. When you do muster up the courage to ask your parents for something, you creep around and wait until they’re in a good mood.

4. Before you get that final yes, you have to go through an interview.

5. If you ever got “the eye,” you knew you were screwed.

6. You were always the first to leave your group of friends when hanging out.

7. If you say you will be home at a certain time, you better be home at that time.

8. Seeing a missed call from your parents sends fear and horror through your veins.

9. If relatives are coming over to the house, your room better be clean.

10. You are careful about what jokes you share with your parents.

11. "You’re not an adult until you turn 18! You can do whatever you want then!"

12. If plans change while you’re out, you better text or call.

13. Don’t talk back. Ever.

14. When you’re called by your full name, you’re in deep trouble.

15. Don’t make them call your name twice.

16. Sleepovers are not a thing.

17. Despite all of these things, you know your parents love you.

For better or for worse

1. Pets

2. Mornings

3. Mistakes

4. Cooking for yourself

5. Hosting

6. Taking care of yourself

7. Holidays

8. Roommates

9. Keeping focused and getting stuff done

10. Cleaning

11. Social life

No, really. I'm not mad. Just hungry.

1. You’re tired of people asking you if you know what “RBF” stands for every time you zone out.

2. You’re constantly using the excuse, “I’m just tired” when people ask you if you’re mad.

3. Or “I’m just thinking.”

4. In fact, you’re rarely ever actually mad.

5. But when you are, people usually can’t tell.

6. You find other people with RBF’s and have to convince yourself that you don’t look like them.

7. You constantly remind yourself, “At least I’m not a psycho.”

Some of your best ideas come through boredom.

1. If the professor is late by one minute, I'm leaving.

2. Oh crap, that's due TODAY?!

3. Can I nap in here?

4. I wonder what they're serving at the cafeteria.

5. How much does my teacher even get paid?

6. How much will I get paid?

7. This is the longest 50 minutes of my life.

8. Maybe if I call mom, she'll give me money.

9. How much do street performers make anyway?

10. Why am I here? I could be a street performer by now.

11. Oh right, I'm not talented.

The Belchers hold the key to a better life.

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