It’s weird that we all search for a hideaway. Whenever things get tough our bodies feel the stress and we cry out for relief. Sometimes the hard times last a while, and we pray for an escape. We twist and turn our heads in different directions hoping that a distraction will ease our hardships. Distractions keep our interest, but many people don't realize that they are relying on the distraction until it's an addiction. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re addicts until someone sits us down and makes us see it. But it all starts the same way: you try it and something in you feels different. It is almost as if the situation does not exist for some time. But when it’s over and the euphoria is gone, the problem continues to stare blankly at you in the face. Knowing that the distraction worked for a while, people reach out for it hoping to escape again. I’ve been there too.
Chill out, I don’t have a drug or alcohol dependency. My addiction is being alone. When my home life got complicated, I pushed everyone out. I thought it would give me peace of mind. It turned out that it did give me some peace; but, every time I opened my bedroom door, the craziness started again. I started to neglect everyone, my friends included. I felt that I was better off alone and that no one could make me happy. One day I woke up and realized that I had two problems: my original problem and the loneliness I created for myself. I tried to mend relationships I broke only to realize that some were too damaged to put back together. At the end of the day I realized that my addiction created a mess in my life, and it was different times time because I had no place to run.
For once I actually had act like an adult and address both situations. Truthfully, I was not up to the challenge but I did not have a choice. I grew up and handled my problems. The easier of the two problems was the initial one, which made me feel stupid because I realized that I didn’t need an escape after all. All the while I actually needed patience. Handling the second issue I carved out for myself was far more difficult because it meant putting my pride aside. I felt like an idiot going back to people I told and been convinced were negative forces on my life. The process wasn’t easy but I knew I shouldn’t look for answers in a different place so I stuck with it. One by one I set aside my pride and rebuilt relationships. They weren't easy to gain back, but I eventually got the majority of my relationships back. If there is one thing I learned is that running from your problems doesn't make them go away: it creates new problems. At the end of the day if you have 99 problems, don’t get another one.