Kristin,
A Letter to My Freshmen Year Roommate… Yes I am being basic, BIGHT ME!
First off I want to say that you are awesome for picking Mason like I did too! I remember choosing very late what school I wanted to attend. I also remember looking on class of 2019 Facebook pages, looking for potential roomies since early September in all schools I applied to. Let me say, not one of these dainty canatits could compare to you! I was so terrified to go random and get a Rebecca Evens (The Roommate, 2011) so I searched high and low for someone online. I ended up giving up because of how picky I am. Also I have seen plenty of horror movies to where I can take the bitch down if she ever came after me. *throat punch her or kick her in the Cooch!” Anyhow the “dreaded”“random” I went. I remember the day the emails came out saying our roommates. Now I do not know about you but I struggled following the directions to the resident’s hall agreement/ dining hall one/ etc. that I needed to do before I found this chicka's name (you). Eventually, I got it and I scrolled down and read:
President's Park…”Awesome, I am living in a community with only freshmen!!!”
ADAMS 112 <3 “HELLTOTHEFUCKINGYES”“First floor and no stairs!”
KRISTIN DEMICHELE- I saw “Kristina-“ because I read it so fast and said, “FACK there is a glitch and I am my own roommate.” I was just going too fast with my reading because I could not wait to do what I do best and Facebook stalk the crap outta her.
I eventually saw the real name- I promise.
Anyways…. I needed to do my checklist;
the who, I already new. That was Kristin DeMichele. I needed to know where you were from, do we have any mutual friends by chance, if there was a boy ;) what was your favorite music and more.
I easily found out that you were from the state of Delaware, that you were cyber security engineering (what ever the hell that means (btw; still a little fuzzy on that…))andthenholyshitourbirthdaysaretwodays apart! I screamed to my mom telling her this news! I then messaged you on Facebook. And damn was that AWAKWARDDDD. Plus, it took you a lifetime and a half to respond. Our conversations were always like that until we finally met. I am so happy they aren’tanymore. Or at least it is a different level of awkward and that is overly comfortable. Such as, HEY I just farted- no really I did. I am eating your popcorn right now while you are at the JC. I hope you don’tsmellthe fartwhenyouwalkin. It smells like it did when we first came in on move-in day. WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GLADE PLUG IN??? I say you burn Adams to the ground when your done reading this. (All of your candle scents are wonderful BTW) But get up off the groody floor first because I know you are dying of laughter from this comedic letter. I know you are laughing at me in some way due to this- probably because of spelling and grammatical errors but hey I’lltake it!
Thank you for laughing at me when I was just being a dumb ass.
Thank you for laughing with me when we both were dumb asses- remember that time of the centipede that Satin created and we got locked out and had to crawl through the window. Again thank god for the first floor!
Thank you for listening to all my drama and Tony problems.
Thank you for being a night owl. I still don’tunderstandhowthat one floormatewenttobedatlike8pm(atnight.)
Thank you for wanting to piss our across the hallmate off as much as I did.
Thank you for just ignoring when shit fell off my side of the walls.
Thank you for laughing with me at 3 am.
Thank you for waiting till I stop sneezing to say “bless you.” I hate it when I hear “bless you-bless you-bless you”
Thank you for not giving a crap when I spilled shit on the carpet. I wonder what is growing under your feet right at this moment??
Thank you for fixing my computer on multiple occasions and any other kind of technology issue I created!
Thank you for being my drinking buddy on Tuesdays nights and having wine Wednesdays at 2 am (Thursday mornings). But I do not thank you for biting me. Lol at our SKULLS parties and never forget Sigma Chi! or our first one- the dreaded night our stool broke.
Thank you for basically having a second closet for me. But darn you for small feet :(
Thank you for telling me that I need to get my shit together at times.
Thank you for your style advice, relationship advice and “WHATKINDof pizza should I order”advice because we both know that the answer to “Should I order pizza?”isalways“umm yas!”
People always say that they have/had the perfect roommate. But they are wrong. I know in my eyes and heart that you are that person every girl talks about and the world knows that too. They are just too much of a bumfuck to admit it. I am so happy you got into the brotherhood of Theta Tau and can not wait for us both to have littles! I hope you are stress-free from finishing freshmen year and I hope exams went well. Now down that Smirnoff watermelon and go have some fun at graduation parties! I am waiting for those Snapchats.
I love you to the moon and beyond and am so blessed that I had you as my roommate, I know I would not have survived anything from this past year without you. I can not wait to see where life takes both of us!
Love the dumb shit who is crying right now while writing this,
Kristina Herrmann