It's so easy to get lost in thought, especially when life is swarming around you to the point where you can't help but zone out. With that being said, all I've been doing lately is thinking and swimming through my thoughts trying to gasp for air and stop drowning, and I know that my fellow high school seniors have been doing the same thing.
This time of year is critical for any high school student, but for seniors, the weight of it weighs us down just a little bit more. We're in the peak of college acceptance season and it's that time to buckle down and get our grades up before the semester is over. All anyone ever seems to be talking about is college and the future and it's a bit suffocating to be completely honest. But what do you expect from students who are either terrified or ecstatic about what their lives could become.
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Sure, I've been thinking about college and life in general, but the main thing on my mind has been senior year. It honestly just hit me over the weekend that I'm actually a senior. And with senior year comes a lot of lasts. I've already gone through some of my lasts and it's such a sad thought to think I'll never do some of the things I've come to love ever again. I'll never go to another high school football game to cheer on my team, and I'll never have another band camp. I'll never have another Christmas break or another Labor Day spent at the local fair. With 2016 coming to a close, so is everything that makes up my senior year.
It's bittersweet really. I've always dreamt of what life was like outside of the confines of my high school. I've always wanted to leave and adventure throughout the world and see where life takes me. Now, I'm finally doing that as I prepare for leaving all I've ever known to go to a college in a different city. I'm so excited for the thrill of trying new things and finding where I belong in the world.
At the same time, my heart aches knowing everything is about to change in the upcoming months. I'm leaving my entire family, including my mom, my grandma, my aunts and uncles, and my dear little cousins, to live a life on my own where they're more than a two hour drive away. I know I can't depend on them forever, so that's why I know this decision is for the best. But still, I'll miss our random bowling nights and our birthday parties and stopping by each other's houses just to say hi.
Out of all of my close friends, only two people are leaving for college, myself included in that two. It's going to be hard knowing that my closest friends are staying together and are going to be growing closer by the day as they spent their college days together while I'm off starting anew. It's going to be difficult seeing them all hanging out and thinking "Why didn't they invite me?" only to realize that I'm more than a hundred miles away. With high school ending comes the last time our group will be complete until myself and my other friend come back home for breaks.
But I'm not trying to be pessimistic about all of this. In fact, I can't even describe how excited I am! Like I said before, this whole experience is just extremely bittersweet, especially knowing that all of my high school senior year lasts are going to become my college freshmen year firsts.
