Yes, I’ve been there. I’ve made the list again and again. I’ve wrote the letters and carefully hid them under my bed. I’ve pinned just about every wedding dress Pinterest has even known. I’ve sat in a crowd of boys, selfishly examining each one to see if my husband possibly sat amongst them. I’ve even done that thing where you look them up on basically every social media platform. (I know I'm not the only one) Needless to say, I was consumed with this idea of marriage. My mind was captivated by the thought of a husband.
“Grace, what if you aren’t gifted with marriage? Do you still love God?”
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I then proceeded to take the knife out of my heart…
My mentor was a wise woman who feared God and saw His truth in literally every walk of life. What killed me about this statement wasn’t that she said it, but the fact that I knew it was true. What if that isn’t something in my future?
I went to bed that night angry. Angry at God. Angry at my mentor(who was completely right). Angry at myself. Angry at my potential or not so potential husband…
And then it hit me like running 100mph full speed ahead into a brick wall…God just wasn’t enough for me.
If God has ever led you into one of those ah-ha moments in life, you understand the feeling. The air had been taken from my lungs and I was essentially a pile of mush on the floor. The mush that just kind of oozes further the longer it sits…that was me.
I had been spending every waking moment obsessing over this self prophesied future that involved a husband, a fancy house, and kids that I replaced God with my self crafted idols of what I thought was good for me. Not only did I create my own path but I became a hypocrite in the process.
You see, when I sat in the crowds of boys, making a mental checklist of who would fit my criteria and who wouldn’t, I was objectifying them to a name and number on a list. Not a man of God, made in the image of Jesus Christ.
NEWSFLASH!
Just as God calls us daughters of the King, they too are sons of the King and should be treated as such. Which in turn, means that we should seek to honor them and respect them. Another knife to dig out…
What I’m trying to say isn’t, burn the list, forget the boys, and organize a protest to ban pinterest from the hands of eager teenage girls…
What I’m trying to say is, the season you’re in now, single, married, dating, it isn’t by mistake or lack of interest. It is because you have been intricately made by a divine creator who knows you far more than you know yourself. He isn’t withholding something good from you nor is He forgetting about you.
I know for me, when I thought of a “single” life, I thought of about 100 cats and a couch with my body imprint permanently imbedded in it. That’s not what it’s about.
Your singleness is not a curse but a gift. It is not a burden but an honor. When I allow myself to fall into that pit of, woe is me I’m single, I take what God has meant for my good and I throw it away.
When I set my eyes to determine my own future, I’m essentially telling God, I know what’s good for me, I got this. And let me tell you that may be evidence enough of why I am still single.
So girls, and boys, is God enough for you? Are you resisting singleness or are you resting in it? Do you trust that God’s plans for you are bigger and far better than the ones you could try and fabricate yourself?
1 Corinthians 7:32-34 talks about the purpose of being single by saying, “…The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit…”
What Paul is saying isn't that marriage is bad nor is singleness. What he is saying is that in singleness, you have a great gift of complete devotion to God, only concerned with what is pleasing to God! You will never be more available to serve the Lord than you are right now and that is a pretty sweet thing. If you are constantly wishing for something other than this season you are in right now, you are missing out dear friends!
Are you living out singleness as a time to be completely devoted to the Lord or are you like I was, creating idols out of marriage? Are you honoring God in body and in spirit, or are you degrading boys to a number on a list or fantasizing about things in your mind? Are you concerned about the will of God or the will of you?
You have been given a great gift; married, single, dating. The question is, how are you going to devote yourself to God in this season you are in?
