In a previous article, I wrote about the personal and academic goals that I planned to achieve by the end of my sophomore year of college. In that article, I had a relatively optimistic view of the year to come; while I expressed my various fears for the year ahead, I tried to quell my anxiety by countering all of my possible fears with positivity. However, in spite of how hard I may try to make my positive thoughts become plausible, the reality is that initially adjusting to college can be a tribulation for anyone. I am no exception- it has only been a week of classes, and I am already experiencing difficulties in defining my identity, figuring out where I belong, and managing my time. In the midst of all of this, though, I have found a haven in the form of daily journaling, and I wanted to share my benefits I have garnered from journaling for anyone who may need to reflect.
1. It allows me to realize subconscious things about myself.
As I have briefly mentioned in previous articles, I tend to have trouble formulating meaningful friendships because I either put in too much effort into them or too little. Recently, some of my negative feelings can be attributed to friendships that are simply not flourishing, no matter how much time and energy I put into them. While it is not as easy as me defining these people as “bad” and subsequently cutting them out of my life (especially given how objective morality can be), I wrote in my journal this morning that I was tired of constantly thinking about and pursuing relationships that make me feel insecure or ignored.
These thoughts had been forming in my head for a while, but it was not until I had written them down that I realized just how much I had been affected by pursuing these half hearted relationships. I may not be strong enough to give up talking to these acquaintances entirely, but I know that writing that sentiment down in my journal is going to help me recognize the relationships I have that make me feel worthy, as opposed to the ones that make me feel worthless.
2. It allows me to check in with myself every day.
As someone who is primarily an introvert, journaling is a solitary activity where I can write down anything and everything that I am thinking without any external criticism or judgement. Being able to spend time with myself, even if it is for five minutes a day, without the distraction of technology is something that is very calming and cathartic to me. While I have struggled in the past with finding the motivation to journal daily, I always discover something new about myself and I always find hope in the idea that one day, I will be able to look back and see how far I have come.
3. It is a visual reminder of what I am grateful for.
My journal is filled with lists of what I am grateful for- kind things that someone has said to me, an event that made me smile, or even a brief conversation with somebody who I want to get to know better. Even in times of distress, looking back upon these memories makes me smile for a number of reasons. I get to reminisce on places and people that genuinely brought me joy, and these memories also excite me for the future because I have no idea what wonderful things are in store. Today, I wrote that “Life can be confusing, scary, difficult, or miserable, but it is also a beautiful gift that we can only be so lucky to get”. With that, I made a promise to myself to make my life worth living and passionate again. With the family and friends that I have by my side and the opportunities that have led me to where I am in this moment, I know that I am strong enough to do anything.
